Rant/Complain Thread: u mad?

[noodles]

Now that I'm in a relationship, I've realized some things, including how shitty I was to a couple people I dated before, by not committing but telling them I wanted to, allowing them to honestly believe we'd be in a real relationship in short time. It was a shitty selfish way for me to stay in my comfort zone at the expense of someone else's feelings, and I didn't realize that I was responsible for their emotions at the time. But when you aren't in a place to commit to someone, and they open their heart to you, uncertainty of your own position makes it a bleeding gash in their heart that can only be closed by acceptance or rejection. If you contributed to someone falling in love with you, and you aren't sure, it's your responsibility to let them down sooner rather than later.

also i changed my availability so i have time to do homework and tutoring and stuff but it wont come into effect for like three weeks and that will be too late to make a big difference

[zamisk]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕗ

[Starfe]

[noodles]

i dont know if you do anything for money right now but honestly you should just work at mcdonalds for a couple years or something. if you keep applying around at fast food joints you'll get one within a couple months provided you know how to do interviews

even if that seems pointless you have daily challenges and are constantly exposed to "the real world"

a lot of young people say they will never "stoop" to working that kind of job and it's a silly and uninformed opinion really. you gain a lot and it's always better than being in your room and, like you said, waiting for things to happen

[Starfe]

I think a lot of people your age share this sentiment, but maybe dont talk about it because it always seems like everyone else always has their shit so together. I know I definitely felt that way when I was your age, and I sometimes feel that way now. A lot of more privileged people experience this after college when they are thrust into adult life suddenly, albeit later than most.

When I was 19 I worked at a Walgreen's, which is an experience I value very much. But because I had dropped out of college and moved home I was working and incredibly routine job, I had about $8000 in tuition debt, and had absolutely no goals or outside world interaction. Much like yourself, I had no measurable skills, I had very little job experience, no degree, and didn't have any kind of interests that easily translated to skills or careers. I worked, I played video games, I drank beer, and I watched movies. I'm sure this is very familiar to you.

The only way I broke the depression I felt from this life was, after a little over a year of the same old same old, to take a risk and make a change. I decided, after a particularly painful and unhealthy shift at work, that I would be moving to Seattle within a month. This was going to considerably set back my progress of paying off my tuition debt, which would mean I wouldn't be able to return to university for some time longer, but I needed to break the routine that was creating this depression. I set a date for my departure as a date I knew I would be able to get a ride, I packed my belongings down to one bag and my PC, I secured a walk in closet in a friends apartment that I could live in for a few months, I found an equally shit job (another Walgreens) to work at when I arrived, and I moved.

This move allowed for a considerable amount of reinvention of my personality, I met lots of new people, I made friends who are still among the best people I have ever met, and I was withdrawn from my depression for some time. In a new place I had new options for living and working, I left my closet room after about 4 months and moved in with some friends, I moved on from the Walgreens after about 5 months and got a higher paying, easier, more respectable job at a bank. It took longer, but I was eventually able to pay off my debt and make actual plans to return to college, which I did. Once I was in a community college I was able to get a sense for what I enjoyed and excelled at much better than I could outside of that environment (your mileage may vary). I committed to attending a university, did that, worked in IT while I was there, and studied history and literature/film. All of these things that I did gave me a wealth of skills and knowledge, but in terms of marketable skills and the kind of life skills one needs to get by. Its been several years since I made that move, and now I'm in a whole other place, but I could never, ever, do what I do now if I hadn't made that move and experienced all that I have. If I hadn't done any of those things, and been pushed from the comfortable and easy, I would still be living an unexciting, unfulfilled, routine life.

It didn't happen just by waiting, and it didn't happen by really thinking. Sooner or later you will need to take a risk or make a change to break your routine and get yourself into a situation where you are learning, growing, and bettering yourself. It could be as simple as moving out of your parents house if thats where you are living right now. That independence will help you grow. Maybe you want to learn to do something, so pick something simple, liking cooking, and commit to not eating any take out or relying on others for your meals. Maybe you don't like the idea of college, but see about taking some of the cheap extension courses most community colleges offer to broaden yourself. If you feel like work is the thing getting you down because its so routine, consider looking into a temp agency. If you are trying to meet new people and dont know how, try looking into community activities, things like roleplaying or war gaming. Some of my best friends were met through Dungeons and Dragons.

There are hundreds of ways to get out of the routine of depression, and as noodles said you will acquire skills as you go. You can't just wait around, you need to, as hard as it is, find something to break up the monotony.

You may see your convenience store job as unskilled or not developing anything marketable but employers really want and need people who have a proven track record of showing up, doing their job, and doing it well. The repetition, arithmetic, and cleaning are evidence of your ability to preform tasks regularly and competently over long periods of time, which is all most jobs ask for. For jobs that dont require extremely specific skill sets or degrees almost everything is taught on the job anyway. When I went from working at a Walgreen's to working in a bank the only thing I really had going for me was cash handling and customer service (talking to people) experience. I got that job and found that the people I was working with all had basically the same previous experiences. They just wanted people who could count money, talk to customers for up to a minute at a time, and be perceptive. I'm surprised more people from the retail industry don't apply for those jobs, as they almost always pay more and come with benefits. In any case, I thought, like you, that my experience was irrelevant and unmarketable, but I worked it into a better job. Then after some time spent at the bank I had something on my resume that I could point to as proving I could handle positions in high stress, high responsibility, environments, something I marketed myself with when I moved onto IT.

Lots of people start in seemingly pointless jobs where they aren't developing any skills. The main skill to develop is how to talk about what you do/did to your future employers. Being able to make the doldrums of convenience store work sound applicable to the job you're applying to is all you need to move on. Every new thing you do is a chance to acquire some skills, small or large, but you have to learn how to market them. If you boil yourself down to an automaton, that is all employers will see you as.

Anyway, I hope you find your way out of this. It sounds like what you really need is a change, so hopefully you find the thing that mixes it up.

[negzee]

Garrett, listen to Starfe-sensei. He's right about the value in your seemingly irrelevant work experience, as long as you can prove yourself consistent/reliable.

You're 18, relax. I'm pretty sure most everyone your age feels like that at least some of the time. I sure did. I still don't really know what I'm doing with my life most of the time, and I'm speaking as someone nearly 32 years of age who has floated in and out (and in and out again) of college half-assedly, lived and worked in three countries and currently has what many would consider a decent career with interesting work and lots of growth potential (ie. "direction") if I were to take it more seriously.

A change of environment in the form of moving out of the family home around your age helped me get out of a nasty funk I was in at the time. Having to deal with all the new parts of adult life on my own stimulated me and made me feel more confident and better about myself. A similar action might help you too.

[Starfe]

Garrett, listen to negzee-sensei

[GhostsandDragons]

Word searches are the bane of my existence. They're hard enough in English but NOW WE STARTED DOING THEM IN SPANISH WHICH FEELS AKIN TO TORTURE. The worst part is that no one seems to realize exactly how much I DESPISE word searches, so I feel like an idiot when people just keep saying "it's really easy". I guess I just don't have the mind set for stuff like that.

[Starfe]

I found out today that my school district plans to make me do 10 days of Sex Ed in March, totally stopping my English curriculum, and forcing me to teach something I am not qualified to teach. Seems kind of insane, and will probably do a ridiculous amount of damage to my image with students and their behavior in my classroom. Sounds like budget cuts!

I'm thinking of trying to cry foul based on religion if they wont make someone who is actually qualified to talk to teenagers about sex do this.

[negzee]

I have pretty funny memories of one of my PE teachers being forced to teach sex ed to us in HS. He accidentally squirt some lube onto students in the front row. We also didn't stop giving shit to our shop teacher for crafting the wooden demo dick for those classes.

[Hong]

Wooden demo dick.

[PLA]

We had biology as a school-subject.

[Starfe]

[Archaic Sage]

When I was at school we started Sex Education lessons when we were around 10 and it ran through to the end. In Middle School (until about 12/13) we had it by our normal teacher and it was mostly videos that we just giggled at. Then in Secondary School for the first two years it was as part of our Personal, Social and Vocational Education (PSVE) classes and then in the second two years of Secondary, it was meant to be part of Citizenship classes, PSVE and Citizenship classes were taken by all of the teachers, History, PE, English, Dance, Drama, French, whoever was around had to teach it.

I didn't take it for the last two years as I opted to not take a class that didn't give me a qualification at the end of it, but took RE instead for two years on a short course to get another qualification at the end of my school-life.

To be honest, they don't teach anything that you wouldn't already know... especially as we had kids dropping out of school at about 13 as they got pregnant anyway. I also didn't fancy watching the weird PE teacher put a condom on a banana or a carrot, just embarrassing.

[Starfe]