Funny conversations thread!

[PLA]

[Kinokokao]

(regarding the cat my mother had to leave behind when she evacuated due to the wildfire)

me: Do you think Tom is okay?
him: Yeah. He's probably having the time of his life with the entire house to himself.
me: But what if one of the firefighters accidentally opened one of the doors and he got outside?
him: Why are the firefighters looting your parent's place in this scenario?
me: I don't know...
him: He is so beyond fine, trust me. Having the time of his life.
me: But what if the smoke was so bad it got into the house, even if the house didn't burn, but all the smoke...?
him: He lives 7 inches off the ground. He exists in the place firefighters tell you to go during a fire. He's fine.

[Kinokokao]

via text message

Him: Spaghetti and meatballs is awesome. If I was being executed I would get that for my last meal. We're out of wine.
Me: Wait, are you eating spaghetti and meatballs? Where did you get them?
Him: I am not. Just thinking about how awesome they are.

[PLA]

^

[Kimiko]

KÖTTBULLAR IIIIN SPAAAAACE !

[Kinokokao]

via text

me: hey I'm taking sarahs spot
her: Oh, yay! Your car works! ok spot stealer I'll park in the garage
me: my car does not work but the fucking bus never came
her: oh suck
me: BUS GODS WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN MEEEEEEEeeee.....
her: curse you bus gods!
her: note the fist shake at the sky
me: noted

[zamisk]

[PLA]

^

[Trifkin]

Reynard-Miri: I told you guys I had 0's and 1's for blood. =P
Me: I can see that now! @ 3@
Me: I've got ink for blood, m'self.
Reynard-Miri: Ha ha ha ha.
Reynard-Miri: Must come in handy to dramatic purposes. Particularly at contract signings.
Reynard-Miri: *handy for
Me: xD Ahahahaha, yes indeed.
Me: It gives me just the right amount of dramatic flair.
Reynard-Miri: Has to make donating blood difficult, though.
Me: They won't accept my blood!
Me: Can you imagine? Said it would "kill a person" if they tried to use it. What nonsense.
Reynard-Miri: Yeah, a little ink never hurt anybody.
Me: "Not even real blood" "how are you still alive?" My ass!
Reynard-Miri: They said the exact same thing when I installed Linux on my circulatory system!
Me: Ahahahaha!
Me: See? Idiots, the lot of them.

[PLA]

Heh.

[CD-Man2021]

A WHOLE NEEEW WOOOOOOOORLD
No, brain. I'm not going on Youtube to look up Disney songs. I'm behind enough in this class as it--
A NEW FANTASTIC POINT OF VIEEEW
Seriously, I need to study. I really need to catch up and--
NO ONE TO TELL US NO
I'm telling you no.
OR WHERE TO GO
bran pls
OR WHAT WE SHOULD BE BE FEELING
Those aren't even the words.
A WHOLE NEEEW WOOOOOORLD
I quit.

[Trifkin]

Ahahahahaha--Ohgod now I have to look it up too. @_@

[negzee]

[zamisk]

My friend: If you had a vial of liquid luck from Harry Potter, what would you use it for?
Me: I'd propose to Ellen Page
My Friend: What if she said yes and you realized you never drank it?
Me: Then my honeymoon would rock.

[Reynard-Miri]

Me: anyway
Me: I opened an airlock
Me: sucking all of the oxygen out
Me: ergo: no more fire
Sister: but then the ninjas can catch you.
Sister: if you did not see that coming
Me: Sarah
Me: The ninja's can't catch you if they're sucked into the cold vacuum of space, either.
Me: Oh, unless they have a time machine, of course.
Me: But honestly, if the ninjas have a time machine, you have other problems.