Soren37's Etrian Odyssey III Playlog!

[Soren37]

I'm not sure if these things are generally done in these forums, but they seem to be fairly popular elsewhere, so eh. Why not.

I'll make posts here of (hopefully) humorous things that occur while I play with my team.


The Guild!
Hoplite/Ninja (Defense Whore)
Ninja/Zodiac (Can you say Meteor with no TP cost? X3)
Monk/Prince (The heal-bot)
Buccaneer/Gladiator (Hanging and Pincushion, with defense lowering skills)
Farmer/Gladiator (I wanted the extra EXP)

Start game!

Guild Sciondar!

By-Ry
Likes: Sleeping
Dislikes: People who make fun of his name
Back story: By-Ry was trained in the national military, until he had enough of their rules and left to sleep the days away. Unfortunately, the taxmen do not accept “favours” for payment, and is now an adventurer for hire.
IRL: Two of my friends who are the most likely to take hits for us. Both are also larger than me.

Class: Hoplite/Ninja

Areek

Likes: Studying magic
Dislikes: Idiocy
Back story: Eric has trained for only 11 years, but is already an accomplished Zodiac. He achieved top of his class in everything. EVERYTHING. He has lost his book however, which means that he can’t cast any magic until he finds it.
IRL: Pretty much exactly the same. He’s a genius.
Class: Ninja/Zodiac

Scot

Likes: Gore/Healing
Dislikes: People who intentionally put themselves in harm’s way
Back story: Scot is a young monk with a large dream of conquering the Labyrinth. While not a very strong fighter physically, his healing is top notch. Just don’t get on his bad side.
IRL: Me!
Class: Monk/Prince


Lasi

Likes: Sharp bits of metal
Dislikes: A lot of people
Back story: Lasi has grown up on a ship, lived a rough life, and has learned that looks and her sword arm are all she needs to get through life. However, her ship sank recently, and she was saved by freak coincidence. Adventuring is her only method of income.
IRL: A combination of two of my female friends, whom I care for very much.
Class: Buccaneer/Gladiator

Nairn

Likes: Exploring with danger
Dislikes: Work
Back story: Although he grew up on a farm, Nairn has always dreamed of adventuring the Labyrinth. He has also been best friends with Scot for quite some time now, and the two are partners in crime.
IRL: My best friend, who is not a farmer. He does live close to a sheep farm and a water buffalo farm.
Class: Farmer/Gladiator

God

Likes: EO3
Dislikes: Probability
Back story: God is a fickle person. He is always worrying about whether characters are being screwed or blessed, cursed by Anna, the Goddess of the RNG, or if the next corner will contain a F.O.E. that is ready to devour the people he has poured his love into. (Read: 17 year old playing the game).
IRL: Me, raging at the game.
Class: God

Formation is By-Ry and Lasi in the front, with Nairn, Areek, Scot in the back.

Skills!
By-Ry takes 3 points of Shield Mastery.
Lasi takes 2 points of Rapier Mastery and 1 point of Lights Out.
Areek takes 3 points of Keburi No Sue.
Nairn takes 3 levels of Earth’s Bounty.
Scot takes 2 levels of Form Qi and 1 level of Healing.

Limit Skills!
By-Ry and Lasi take Cross Slash.
Areek and Scot take Charge Tactic.
Nairn takes Indomitable.

Begin dialogue!

Scot: So thank you all for joining our guild! We’re a bit undersized and we may be a bit weak, but I’m sure we can do this!
Nairn: You’re such an optimist.
Areek: They will feel the burn of my magic...Once I find my book…
By-Ry: We will protect you from all harm! Unless it’s a freakin’ huge monster. Then we’re running.
Lasi: I hate you all so much already.
Scot: Guys…Let’s just go to the Senatus.

Lady: Draw a map of the first floor of the Labyrinth.
Scot: Okay! Doesn’t sound too hard!
Nairn: We should probably buy some better items other than daggers and jackets.
Scott: Hm, you’re right. Let’s go SHOPPING!

At Napier’s Firm

Shopkeep: The customer is God.
God: Damn straight! Lower your prices already!

By-Ry gets a Short Spear and Shuro’s Sandals. Lasi gets a Fleuret, Straw Hat and Bark Gloves. Nairn gets a Pitchfork, a Straw Hat, and Bark Gloves. Scot gets a Straw Hat. Areek gets a Straw Hat and Bark Gloves.

Total amount spent: 490 en Current: 10 en

Enter the Labyrinth!

Scot: Wow! It’s so pretty!
Nairn: Look at the flowers! Some of them seem really rare, too!
By-Ry: The sky is so blue here, and the birds…
Lasi: This place can still kill you, so stop thinking about the prettiness and get ready to kill something if it twitches.
Areek: You’re kind of cold.
Lasi: And you’re a nerd with no social life. Let’s go.

By-Ry: The fish are after me!
Scot: By-Ry, we’re on la-OH HOLY SHIT HOW ARE THEY LIVING?!
Areek: BATTLE STATIONS!
Nairn: Why the hell am I fighting with a pitchfork?!
Lasi: Leave this to me.
Areek: You’re so zetta slow!
Lasi: I killed it!
By-Ry: It’s still terrifying! *Miss!*
Scott: Slash!
Nairn: Screw it. CRITICAL STAB! *killed the other Fish*
Scot: …Why are we afraid of the fish?
By-Ry: Because they know our secrets!
Lasi: …Boy, you might just be legally retarded.

Scot: We should probably make sure we’re mapping this place as we go along!
Nairn: Well it’s not you. You don’t have a sense of direction.
Scot: The sun is still informative!
Areek: I’ll do it. I have a perfect sense of direction, and I have a critical eye for detail from my magical studies.
Lasi: Or you’re just a stuffed up idiot. The stairs are over there.
By-Ry: And this room is 3x4! I counted!
Scot: Why are you erasing my walls? I thought I did a good job!
Nairn: Move the top right square topwise. Topwise.
Areek: Just shut up! I’m mapping the damn thing!
God: All of you are idiots. Give me that!

God is now drawing your maps!

God: grumble grumble…what a bunch of idiots…

Lasi: Gasp! A treasure chest!
Nairn: Dibs!
Scot: What the hell? Why are you calling dibs on a treasure chest?
Nairn: Because I want it!
Chest contained Medica!
Nairn: …I don’t want it.
Scot: Fine.

A Forest Lynx appears!
Areek: I’ve heard of these. These majestic creatures are as deadly as they are beautiful. The jaw muscles are particularly…
By-Ry: OH GOD WE’RE GOING TO DIE!
Scot: HEALING ON STANDBY! HEALING ON STANDBY!
Nairn: I’M GOING TO DIE!!
By-Ry: Lasi! We need to use the Cross Slash!
Lasi: Got it! I’ll use Lights Out!
Nairn: I am Indomitable!
Scot: Healing on standby!

Lynx attacks Scot!

Scot: Why did it go for me?!
God: What?! It had a 55% chance of attacking By-Ry and it goes for Scot?!
Lasi: Hey guys, I think we got a bit stronger!
Group: Huzzah!

By-Ry learned Line Guard level 1!
Lasi learned Rapier Mastery level 3!
Areek learned Knife Mastery level 1!
Nairn learned Earth’s Bounty level 4!
Scot learned Healing level 2!

A Forest Lynx appeared!

By-Ry: I can take this guys!
80 damage! By-Ry is wounded!
Scot: By-Ry!
Nairn: We have to retreat! Without him, we’re made out of paper!
Scot: Retreat!

Lasi: Good thing we found this secret passage earlier, eh?
Aman: We have doctors!
Doctors: Scalpel! Sponge! Monk Qi!
Areek: Will he make it?
By-Ry: ‘Sup?
Lasi: I am at a loss for words.
By-Ry: You care about me that much?
Lasi: No, I hoped you had died.

That’s all for now!

[ZetaBladeX13]

Generally, things like this would fall under the "EOIII Rantage!" thread, but for something as in depth as this I'm willing to make an exception. (Maybe something under Roleplaying, perhaps?)

I don't know how the other mods feel about this, but that is my opinion.
Keep up the good work XD


Regardless of where it should go, my Kino-nazi sense is tingling.
This is going to need some spoiler warnings/tags at some point.

[Pureauthor]

[Soren37]

After I posted this, I realized that it should go in the Etria's Legends section. If it could be moved there, that would be appreciated.

And now today's post!

Lasi: Let's head back in already. We need to finish the map.

A Forest Lynx appears!

By-Ry: We can- *By-Ry is wounded!*
Lasi: Come one guys, kee- *Lasi is wounded!*
Nairn: Run awa *Nairn is wounded!*
God: ffs, .

By-Ry: What just happened?
God: I saved us 30 en. Hop to it!
By-Ry: Okay!

A Forest Lynx appears!

By-Ry: We got *By-Ry is wounded!*
God: ffs, people, we'll just run now.
Aman: Doctors!
By-Ry: I'm getting used to the whole "Wounded to Life" thing now.

Scot: Guys, there's a wounded animal!
Nairn: You want to help it?
Scot: Already have!
Lasi: They look pretty pissed.
By-Ry: They're attacking!

Areek has been Plagued!
Scot has been plagued!
Areek is wounded!

Scot: Good luck guys, I'm healing now.

Lasi: I'm plagued!
Scot: And I just got off of mine! Healing for Lasi!
Aman: Doctors!
Areek: Thank you for reviving me, kind-
Lasi: Shut up. Let's just finish this damn map already.
Scot: Mr. Guard! We're finished!
Guard: Go talk to the Senator.
Old Lady: Good job. Here's your money and experience.
Gained 500 en. Current 555 en.
Nairn: Mine!
Scot: You're such a dick.
Lasi: I need an alcoholic beverage.

At the Butterfly Bistro

Barmaid: Take some quests!
Scot: Let's find a relaxing spot!
Aman: It'll cost you 20 en to spend the night.
Areek: How is this related to the quest?
By-Ry: It isn't.
Nairn: I...want...to...sleep!
Scot: I tried to talk him out of it, but he has a pitchfork.

Next time, will anyone else die?