Sexism Against Men

[Trifkin]

[zamisk]

For discussion's sake, does this mean I can call things gay or say my roomate was acting like a faggot? I am not going to on this forum because people find it insulting. I'm just noting it is another double standard, and that respect for others should be a factor on these boards. It is ultimately up to me, but there are other words I can use while posting here that do not make people angry.

[Reynard-Miri]

[Trifkin]

[Reynard-Miri]

[Trifkin]

What I'm really curious to know is what manifestations of sexism you guys have personally experienced that you don't like. What specific expectations have you resented and why? What parts of sexism against men have interfered with your ability to do or enjoy something?

[Trifkin]

See, these are things I'm simply not privy to, not only because I am a woman and my experiences are quite different from yours, but because I don't do or say these kinds of things to men in my life.

[zamisk]

In all honesty I don't feel that discriminated against. My friends and I mock each other's masculinity all the time and I think it's hillarious as long as feelings aren't hurt. I was about to type "it's just what guys do" but I have the feeling that wouldn't go over well in this thread.

[Trifkin]

@Garrett - No worries. It's understandable. But can you see how a lot of feminists or equal rights activists might take that? What's considered the ideal in those scenarios you listed? Being a man. What's considered inherently weak? Being a woman. So while I do sympathize with you, at the same time I totally understand where certain feminists come from when they say that so much of what YOU experience as sexism against men is also simultaneously sexism against women. It's on all of us to raise the bar and stop reinforcing those stereotypes.

@Zamisk - I have seen guys do that, and it can be pretty funny, especially when it's done ironically because all parties involved are aware of gender stereotypes and whatnot. The difference is when you're making someone uncomfortable because you think they should behave a certain way and they don't live up to that expectation.

EDIT:

Thinking about it some more, it can also be a matter of perspective and being overly sensitive in certain situations. I got a funny look and double confirmation when I asked for no meat on a burrito recently too, actually. And it wasn't because I'm a girl and it certainly wasn't because I'm a masculine-looking girl who would be expected to want MEAT. I went to Freebirds, which looks very similar to Moe's. The girl seemed bemused but didn't make a fuss, but I imagine that most people who go into their store aren't really concerned with vegetarianism because when you go to a giant burrito place known for its giant burritos, you know going in that it's not the healthiest food to begin with. So rather than taking it as a question to your masculinity for not wanting meat, maybe you could take it as a place that simply doesn't get a lot of vegetarians? Kind of like ordering an unhealthy fast food meal... and then ordering a diet soda.

[Reynard-Miri]

Thankfully, the circle of friends I have built up over the years seems to be fairly egalitarian, so I have not had to witness much discrimination in either direction. I suppose that's one of the joys of being a geek on/near a California college campus. But instances do occasionally come up.

About every two years at the company I work for, they have a civil treatment training course. They must have had the previous one shortly before I joined, since a couple months ago was my first time going to it. One of the "what did they do wrong here" videos involved two men being rather lecherous to one of their female colleagues. I believe that one of their statements was, "Oh, I wasn't paying attention to your presentation." During the after-video conversations, one of my colleagues voiced that it would not have been an issue if the sexes had been switched. To put it another way, he said that men enjoy being sexually harassed and objectified by women.

edit: @Trifkin: Question. Was it with no meat or with tofu? Also, you live in Texas, aka. meat central. I have a feeling that either of these two things might make a difference.

[Trifkin]

I would never feel comfortable treating a man that way. Blegh.

It was with no meat. She offered to substitute guacamole, which would normally be an extra thing (which, by the way, was SUPER delicious). Yes, I live in meat central, but I also live in Austin which is the weird pocket of Texas where you're more likely to find vegetarians and vegans than anywhere else. You also have to keep in mind what goes into being in the food industry. If you're used to people ordering a certain menu item a certain way, it can throw you off the flow of your food prep to remember something special or different. If you mess up someone's order, it could mean a terrible day for you. It could even mean being fired if the person is mean enough. It behooves one to make very, very sure you heard correctly before putting an unusual item into something. Or it could've just been a spacey moment. I can't tell you how many times I've asked someone at my register if they needed a bag more than one time because I couldn't remember already asking two seconds earlier.

[Reynard-Miri]

Remember how yesterday I said that sexism begets sexism? Here's .

For those unaware, here is .

[Trifkin]

And here I am never going to the doctor at all. : / I miiiiiiiight go every few years if something really scary comes up.

[Reynard-Miri]

As long as your health insurance covers it, you should really see the doctor for a yearly check-up. By which I mean please don't be like my grandmother and die because you were too pigheaded to bother with preventative care. Also preventative care is significantly cheaper than reactive care anyway. A stitch in time saves several thousand dollars.

[Trifkin]

Which is why I live preventatively every day by eating healthy foods and exercising. Also, what health insurance? I've been working since 18 and this year is the first time I've had a job where health insurance was even an option... which still isn't affordable. @_@

Anyway, I have known a lot of men who are super reluctant to go to the doctor. It does seem like they don't want to be weak or vulnerable. Or they were just in denial because they didn't want to face a possible problem that would mean they'd have to change anything (usually the older, more stubborn set).