Guild Haven

[snack]

From the journals of Garrett Lilibina, Lagaard Inn:

"The two of us came to the town from afar, travelling many days and nights to come to the land of High Lagaard, to stand at the feet of Yggdrasil, and to challenge the depths: R. Walker, a large giant of a man and my closest friend hefted his shield upon his back as I carried my axe, and even though we felt we could challenge the threats of the tower to reach the castle in the sky, the tales scared us, and we set up our guild charter and name - calling ourselves "Haven" as that's what we believe to be at the top of the tree.

The first recruit was an eccentric medic, his name Flannel - he is a disorganized mess, but nobody can doubt that he's already proven his worth... our few investigative entries have been difficult, and would have been deadly if not for his presence.

So far, his eccentricity has also shown him to be highly meticulous, and we've assigned him map duties to make up for his... rather frail, inability to fight.

Our second recruit, a wandering swordswoman from a far off land, by the name of Etsuko - her graceful movements with a sword make me feel like a child flailing about my axe as she cuts a foe cleanly, then sheathes the blade, her skill efficient. Though, she is a tad childish - her use of our En is likely to be restricted to candy if we don't keep her on a tight budget. Thus far, we've had her take up the dual responsibility of working to maintain and keep an eye on the state of our weapons and armor - she's taken to the task admirably, though, it is tiring to hear the sigh of disbelief when we return to the shop to resell the weapons we had used so faithfully, saying, "The blade has served the master, the master now must be honorable to teh blade!"

Our final recruit is a piece of work - a boisterous alchemist, a black haired woman who's desire to set things on fire then punch them into submission is beyond understanding. Loudly announcing her name, "JENTAI VESS" upon our recruitment, we find ourselves wondering whether or not we've gotten something we aren't prepared for, though her instincts seem to have served us well, as everything really has died when she applied enough fire to it.

I wonder about our chances as a group, but Walker assures me we'll be fine - pressing into the tower will be dangerous, as we've not even fully mapped the first floor yet. when we do, I'm certain everything will be smooth sailing from there!"

[noodles]

I entirely love this. Excellent job.

It reads well enough, but looking at it again it seems very wordy. I see that there are many sentences that try to express something creatively and end up stating an otherwise simple idea in far too many words than what the casual reader wants to see as they first cast a casual glance at a fanfiction.

But I really wanted a journal-style adventure story, so I hope you continue to write.

[snack]

[Maxine MagicFox]

[snack]

Oh.... alrighty, there we go. That's what you guys meant! Thank you, Max!

[Toadkiller Dog]