Assorted tales of Primus

[Lord Mutton Chops]

From the eyes of the ruby and the quill of the minstrel.

It was amber eyes that were always watching. Amber eyes that seemed to pierce though the crimson brush of the forest. The owner of those eyes loved this stratum of the world tree. When here, the world looked to be painted in the most lovely shades of red, her favorite colors. In town she was known as a zealot of the flames. A genius of alchemy the enjoyed watching fire dance a little too much. Her hair dyed red, blush jacket with golden trim. Her iron gauntlets coated in black sot and white ash. Aelita, the ruby of Primus. Here in the Auburn thicket, she considered her self queen.

Sadly though, her amber eyes were taxed, she knew wrinkles were forming on her face, her pores were clogged. At least thats what she felt, having to play baby sitter. Even though this was her playground, she couldn't enjoy her self. Not off roasting a monster or harvesting rare plants, no, she couldn't do that. Aelita had to go and play with the guilds B team. She felt such ingratitude at the director for practically demoting her. She needed to watch over the dud team. No pressing on deeper into the labyrinth, being first to chart these depths. No. She watched the less experienced group go and collect minerals and look for treasures missed by the A team.

The rest of the party though, didn't feel nearly as sour about being on the gathering group. Most of them found it relaxing to not be risking their necks against who knows what. They had heard what happened to people that didn't play smart. They remembered seeing old man in charge of the guild hall make an announcement about Beowulf. How the entire guild was slaughtered by some monstrous wolf. Still sent shivers down the spines of many of Primus' numbers.

A few stray sounds seemed to break the silence in Aelita's mind. Then a few stray words seeped in. With a groan she knew exactly what was causing the racket. The minstrel. Like every few minutes he was left unatended to he had found a soft spot of dirt, taken out his harp, his quill, and parchment, and began working on his latest master piece.
"Isaac! Isaac." Ielita said as she pressed though the brush. Those amber eyes holding nothing but anger and annoyance for the bard and his music. "Isaac. What are you doing?" She asked satirically, she knew what he was doing and how she was going to scold him.

Slowly the minstrel looked up, his pale green eyes and soft almost cute looking frown his counter to the scornful alchemists glare. He had designed that look specifically to get out of trouble with Aelita. "Me? Im just writing my latest poem. Something about this place just seemed to fill me with inspiration." In the most innocent voice he could muster Isaac worked his magic. "Let me share it with you." Before Aelita could even say a word Isaac hit a few string and began his poem. "With Ivory skin she stalks her prey. Crimson eyes against the burnt verdant life. In the solitude of the red leaves, she strikes her prey. Passion ignited like fire. Together with the bard she made steaming love. The blush of blood entrancing on her face as she listens to tales recanted." Isaac's fingers slowly stopped his simplistic melody as he looked up at Aelita, those soft green eyes filled with kindness.

At first, Aelita's face blushed. Flattered at the initial flattery. Quickly turning to shock and annoyance as it turned to a tale of false relations. An eye twitched as she extended her left hand. The soft amber glow as several liquids began mixing inside the gauntlet. Sniffing suddenly as Isaac smelt smoke. With a terror he looked down at his parchment and quill, seeing them both burning to ash. "Ever say something like that again and Ill light you on fire Isaac!" Storming off back towards the rest of the party. Isaac only laughing, always finding a new way to pick on the B teams leader.

[Zeronin]

The two characters you've introduced so far seem to have some interesting personality. However, you have some grammatical issues to work on. You need to go back through and combine some things into sentences via conjunctions and commas and whatnot, because you have a LOT of sentence fragments. Try to work on this, because the story becomes a bit more difficult to enjoy as thoroughly.

[Adelheid]