Twenty Ways to be Painful

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Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Fri Aug 08, 2014 6:07 am

I decided I should improve on my writing. This will be a post on a chaptered series.

Here are the ground rules.
1. It can be for any of the Etrian Odyssey games, especially EO2.
2. It should only be Etrian Odyssey related.
3. Safe For Work Only. I'll make an NSFW one as soon as this one is complete.
4. Team Party Kills are okay.
5. It can be romantic, but remember it isn't entirely romance.
6. If you're going to ask for EO2 characters, SPOIL ME so I get the details right.
and finally
7. If you request for Frederica or Chloe, they will DIE. No questions asked. Same for Kujura.

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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Fri Aug 08, 2014 8:48 am


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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Fri Aug 08, 2014 4:16 pm

No; no. It is fine. I am still taking requests for the next parts. I will take the time to remember all of this. (Why I am doing requests is to avoid using my characters. Except for the child prince mentioned, they are more for the 'NSFW' stuff.)

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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:35 am



Damn. I tried to follow garrett's advice to a T. Unfortunately, just when I decided to let the characters continue exploring I HAD to add the scene where and my character's reaction towards it. Hopefully this Guild won't be mentioned again until way later, and even then have a minor role.

As for Ortega's backstory, it's still a bit incomplete. All I need to do now is figure out her reason for exploring Armoroad's labyrinth and not . I'd figure next chapter I'll explain it more. Also, thanks to garrett, there was a plothole that needs fixing. Eventually there will be some explaining to do. Until then, here's injured Ulrick developing Ortega more.

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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Mon Aug 18, 2014 7:25 am


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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:26 am

Hey. I am currently working on the next chapter, in which a new main character will be introduced.

In the meantime, I am currently in a college course in oral communication and I was very happy to have good reception for this chapter. I want to read a part in it, but the question is, which part shall I read aloud to a class of 17? While the teacher is okay with almost anything, I am not so sure about my classmates. It can be any scene, but I hope to have an answer by this Wednesday.

EDIT: Here it is.


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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:00 pm

I understand what you mean. I know what to do for next chapter.

I was thinking about reading the scene between Ortega and Ulrick when they were looking at the pictures, but at the same time I really want to read the scene where Seyfried and Dangerus are introduced.

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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Sat Aug 23, 2014 10:59 pm



Wanted to continue the story. Still felt Chapter 2 was my strongest piece. I hope to change that with Chapter 5.

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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Tue Aug 26, 2014 11:04 pm

I am just about ready to start Chapter 5. If you want to give feedback, now is your chance, so I can edit Chapter 5 before I post it!

Edit: we finally delve into Adam and Isami's stories. Also, there is a possible character death. I am trying to be as SFW as I can, but there is some mature themes in this one, especially with one of the optional bosses, and a bit of Isami's backstory has some hinting of it as well. I am sorry I haven't been working on it, but I am finally on it and I want to write it down ASAP.

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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Wed Aug 27, 2014 1:03 pm


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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Wed Aug 27, 2014 3:20 pm

Here you go! Chapter 5. As requested by garrett, I was able to add Dangerus again. It's been two chapters, right?



Realized that Isami and Adam needed some development as well.

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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Wed Aug 27, 2014 10:47 pm


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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Wed Aug 27, 2014 11:42 pm

I am glad I am improving in the Snowbelle department. I am sorry she started off being the least favorite newcomer.

As for the whole Isami and Adam thing, I was hoping to get them backstory soon, because to be quite honest, I was worried that I was giving them less attention. I am sorry for using cliches, I hope eventually to use your advice again soon. The 'said book-isms' I was hoping to use to help me use other words than 'said' because that is also a cliche.

And thank you for the foreshadowing bit. I am glad you are still reading it despite my errors.

((It would be fun once I finish it, is your own fun edits of the thing and a possible remake of this story?))

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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Thu Aug 28, 2014 12:27 am


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Re: Twenty Ways to be Painful

Postby Dangerus » Thu Aug 28, 2014 1:33 am



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