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Ha ha. Reminds me of my recent fretting with the Jungian archetype scale. You know, I have always been identified with INFJ but I stray really close to ENFJ. The truth is I probably am an ENFJ. The reality is many of the qualities in an INFJ are an ENFJ in development. Not like it matters much. Only a bunch of letters.

Edit - Unfortunately it also leaves me in a position where the advice from other people, more often than not, is completely useless. Especially advice that stands greatly on the foundations of logic alone. Then again, hard logic is the bane of ENFJ and INFJ as it stands. Which is not to say I do not find answers in those around me. Just never when I ask for it. I do not care if something is right or wrong, as long as it is spoken from the heart.

Hey folks. Life story time! [spoiler]After talking with noodles, I was once again reminded that I should share a bit about myself. In many of my posts I have spoken about "my family", but there are many times where I paint images that are conflicting from what I have said at another time. A large part of the reason is I really do not want to acknowledge my birth family, who I am with right now supporting them. I have been with more than one family through out my life, as I have never liked my birth family and as a result I would try to stay away as much as I could.

Some of you may or may not recall myself speaking of being unable to do things because of my poor lungs, and it's true; I spent most of my earliest years in the hospital. I was not born... with the best of organs. Especially the lungs. Naturally being cooped up in there so much has gotten me to know the place. In particular there was a younger girl who I always liked to play Nintendo with. Her family would visit her all the time and at that age of early development, it was only natural for me to find comfort in a friendly family so for the months and months that I would spend there, I got to know them very well. But for all intents and purposes I do not consider this a family that raised me so much as people who made a notable impact on my life. Very friendly people who made a better example of a family than my own.

Next up would actually be my aunt along with her partner at the time (now husband). They had a nice farm outside of Winnipeg. I got to visit them once and instantly I fell in love. From that point onward I would spend any break off of school at this farm, as well as many of my weekends. This would go on for quite a few years, actually. Not much to say. The farm was and probably still is my favourite place to be. It's very hard work, yet I felt at ease. Also some of my best eatings. Not to mention mint tea. <3

In a more recent post I discussed how I donated a larger sum of Lego and other old belongings that I inherited from an older couple. I actually met these people through friends who came in from Dunrea, a small town a few hours west of here. I just remember being invited to their home and seeing some newer people at the cribbage table where the adults discussed whatever while the young ones did whatever. I would sort of talk to them more and more, and would even begin to stick around when my friends had to go to bed. They really liked me, and when they found out I was having trouble at home they offered to let me come over after school (With my parent's approval. I wasn't that dumb.) Eventually I just sort of replaced the child they once had. I really liked them. They were really rich old folks and they generous. With me at least. That's just the thing. Sometimes they seemed so dang snobby. Did not think much about it. Instead I spent as much time around them as I could, as it was a great place to be a kid.

At least until after a bit of high school where being cool became the new rule. This was when I went full freedom, and really did not put much faith or care into my family. With connections upon connections one day I just got sick of things and spent more time with the wrong people. Many of us had this sort of thing happen to us in high school, the difference being my loose character would have me with less restraint. To put it bluntly I left warm, loving and friendly families in favour of my chums. My later high school years would have me spend most of my time indulging in street culture. Bad neighbourhoods, learning about drugs, witnessing violence, being around people who smell like booze... In truth I actually liked it quite a bit. Not as great as being on the farm, but still up there. This is where I stopped valuing kindness, and began to appreciate people who just do and say what is on their mind. Even if it comes across as cruel. Many of my girl friends were horrible people, but they were horrible people who protected me and got me around the city.

Some point after finishing high school I just sort of... became more and more emotional. This made me less cool and as a result, less desirable. This would once again have me with my birth family, yet I never really left the streets behind entirely. I would never be home at nights and my parents kind of got used to coming into my room to see somebody they have never seen before in my bed. At some point late last year/early this year I moved out. From there I began to live a very normal life, until I began to feel lonely and accepted my family's invitation to come back and help them out. And here I am now. Back in this room. With what few possessions I still have. Still disappearing every other night. In a year I am gone again, and hopefully I can stay there next time. At the very least if I had not come back home the last time I would have been supporting some drug/sex addict in a small apartment with an unstable job. With that I am fortunate, in a way.[/spoiler]Enjoy! Makes me feel old.

Thanks for the story, Rosel, is about the best thing I can say which is an odd thing since it is your life story and the words just don't do it proper justice. ^_^ I did enjoy getting to know you a lot more. I hope you in the future you will continue to keep sharing.

Was there something that turned you against your family in high school? It seems a rather big turn of events there. :\ Though, I've found that I myself am very family-oriented person, so I may have a biased opinion, and even Tia's acts of rebellion against mom are beyond my comprehension.

Though I can understand... Mom just suffers from depression so she has bouts where she "goes off the deep end" and nothing will make her happy and she's very temperamental. Tia is resentful to these moods to the point that she actually makes the situation worse. I'm not better at dealing with the situations half the time (I once threw a toaster at her) but even more so recently I've taken on the role of trying to support her and keep her healthy. Rebelling except for that particular moment, is never in my mind, and even after such an episode I hate myself for having acted that way and re-evaluate the situation very strongly and make plans on how to keep it from happening again.

Oh. Ok. I see what you meant when you said "things I say would make 1000x more sense"

A full-size pinball machine?

kino you should text me more often ok?