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What publishing service are you using? Will it be available through Ingram or Baker & Taylor?

*nods* Thanks, OB. Yeah. I'm happier with my character being gay. Honestly, I wouldn't have come up with the notion if it didn't fit the story. *Shrugs* It's been bugging me for a few years now. "GO STRAIGHT, DAMN YOU!!" T-T But no matter how many times I've changed the story, the character just comes off with such a compelling "friendship" that honestly just surpasses "friendship".

It's not even something I'm going to bat my readers over the head with. He's not a main character or anything in the story. He's just one of those random "my backstory reflects your current story, but I'm really just here to point you to your next destination." He is a recurring character, but well... his love is dead, so, as long as Maxine (the female reincarnation of his lover) is not in the book, it won't even be brought up. His 'I was in love with him' scene isn't even in the first book anyways. It's in the second of the Maxine arc.

:3 But, I just hate feeling like I'm constantly fighting with one of my characters. It feels like I'm corrupting him no matter what scene he is in.

I feel it is usually just easier to let the characters be who they are, and to always let yourself have a little secret about them. If you feel like you are fighting with the character, you probably just need to take a step back and let the course of the narrative showcase who they really are.

*nods* I'm use to the "secrets" or even just the stuff I know about my characters that will never make it into final publication (stuff that remains true but just can't always make it in, like favorite/hated foods). However, the backstory of this character was just such that it was either he's in love with Drakkar's girl Shaikar, or he was in love with Drakkar himself. Not that you would think it would be a big deal that he is in love with Shaikar instead but :3 there's a story twist involved between Remus and Drakkar that comes to light at the end of "book 2" that would be far more poignant if Remus was really in love with Drakkar instead. It makes me shed a tear for my characters. Aww~ such a horrible story I've given them. *Huggles Remus* Aww my poor angel. It's no wonder you became a drunk.

And normally I would agree with your second sentence but I REALLY want my book published :3 and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that.

We've all had moments where we wrote something and we accidentally jumble our words, getting something funny, I think. I've had characters hear smells, but never before have I had a character's "eyes solemnly turn a page."

Oh, I'm glad you linked to that blog entry, OptiBoss, I wanted to point that out myself. I was sure at least Kino and Maxine would find it as encouraging as I did.

My writing has been going slooooooowly. Setbacks, let us say. Well, at the moment this is less true--I've been developing a good rhythm since about a week ago and am getting my momentum back. But it's been a difficult path.

I think writing is like some shamanic vision journey in which all of one's fears and other issues rear their heads in a multitude of forms along the path, all trying to stop you from going on.

Even though I tend to think of myself as an evening writer, and that's the kind of schedule I try to keep, I'm finding that waiting until later in the evening to begin writing isn't working out; I get tired and unfocused around a certain time at night, and this isn't much of a problem if I've already been writing for a little bit. However, if I'm just getting started, it spells trouble.

I keep having nights where I sit at my desk at like 11 o'clock and spend 45 minutes lollygagging while trying to collect myself.
Then I end up writing like two paragraphs before calling it a day and I'm like
;_____; I'm sorry I failed you why
WHY

Like I said, however, I think I'm getting my groove back and adapting to an easier schedule, so yay! Delight!

One of my problems is editing while I write, i.e. being really self-conscious of every sentence or scene I put together. It makes everything go slow, slow, slow as . . . heavy things. On flat surfaces.

I'm worried that my characters aren't interesting enough, but at this point it may be just that I don't know them as well as I will after getting farther in the story.

@Kino: I suppose it was inevitable, wasn't it! Tovys was clearly clamoring that you make a space for him. I want to see how it turns out.

@Maxine: I know what you mean about aspects of a character that don't appear in a story. You're discovering the full picture of a character, which for a reader is often more sensed as an impression than spelled out in text.

Is the character that is gay a very central character? Did you discover this about him as you were writing?

And how did the dragon scene go? Actually, that prompts a question for both you and the other writers here. Do you tend to sit down with the intention of writing out a certain scene, or do you aim for a writing period of a specific length?

He's not central to the "main" story and really only concerns Maxine's story. Ok, the backstory is this:

Just spoiled for length...


As for your next question, yeah, it's just something that's slowly... just come about. I mean, he obviously takes his friend's death very hard, but there's something ELSE to the story that complicates it a little. *sigh* Now, this is spoilerish, so read at your own risk if you ever do plan on reading one of my stories:



It's just these events, the way Remus plays out... every thing screams that he was in love with Drakkar. That he wanted to be more than just friends in his eyes.


As for dragon scene. Still writing it :3 ... hrrrm, I don't like the "this is why I'm about to kill you" conversation before the fight. I'm thinking of going back and fixing it, but for now I'm going to plow on ahead. (It just sounds too relaxed. "oh, let's have tea and crumpets - NOW DIE BITCH!)

As for your last question: I write when I get the chance. Sitting in front of the TV... right before bed... I'm stuck on a game that I've rage-quit on... or LET'S WRITE mood...

I mostly write in chronological order so I sit down to write whatever scene is next. UNLESS I'm REALLY in the mood to write a future scene or need to write something out so I can write my current scene and have the two flow well and connect.

I don't think I've ever sat down and said "I'm writing for x amount of time!" I don't even want to attempt that. That's just setting myself up for a bad mood if I feel like I'm forcing myself to write. I know I should write for at least an hour each day but I feel my writing would suffer if I were to force myself like that.

<_<; Though maybe I should adopt some sort of writing schedule since I need to put an end to this x amount of weeks without writing at all. That's not good and I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever finish my story.

Oh, I forgot to address the editing thing.

When I'm writing normally, I too can get kinda down on myself. I HATE people reading my rough drafts. <_<; It's so embarrassing. I'm always afraid even one of you guys will come back and say "pfff, god, you're such a fucking lousy writer." I'm able to suppress this enough, and I've received enough positive feedback in my life to counter it (sure it was journalism, but fuck, my teacher told me I was ahead of the rest of the class. I'm sorry, those are just comments I'm NEVER going to forget and will forever boost me).

Still a rough draft is a rough draft and I accept that and I've discovered o_O that's easier to think of. Now I've moved into a new stage in my story where it IS the final draft. THIS is what I will send out to agents to be reviewed. >_< There are some days I'm so frightened I can't even hardly open my word processor. Days like that, it's hard to even get out of bed (this is my life afterall).

I know this probably isn't too reassuring for you, but I hope that it at least lets you know that you're not the only one fighting this particular demon.

Still, just sit back and relax and enjoy your story. Just allow yourself to enter the flow of writing. ^_^ It's such an intoxicating experience when I'm able to just write and lose myself in my work. Sure, some things I go back and read I realize it's just crap, but not so aweful that I don't learn something from it.

See, I'm having trouble with my current chapter because I want to revise the fight scene with the dragon from the rough draft. I'm discovering in this particular situation... o_O the rough draft is pretty damn good. I need to stop fighting it and just clean it up and stop trying to rewrite it from scratch. I've even realize that the parts that I like best in the new re-write were actually in the original manuscript as well. ^_^ I didn't think it was that good when I first wrote it. That's even why I continue to fight it 'cause I think it could be better, but it might just be that it's perfect the way it is and I'm falling in love with the original that I had hated so much.

i really want to write something on my 7th dragon replay but i'm not sure how to go about doing it

furthermore i'm not sure where i'd post it

and i'm not sure I have time to actually maintain it

*sigh* fuck my life