General Writing

[Maxine MagicFox]

[Drathi]

[greycolors]

Umm...Your welcome I suppose. Like I said, I still understood the whole piece quite easily, there were no really big issues.

On the subject of active versus passive language, I found a number of articles that point out that passive language is not a bad thing. Active is good for getting a point across strongly and fast flow while passive is better for descriptions and a calm flow. I know a lot of teachers stress the whole "active is better than passive" thing. Its true, for persuasive essays and the like, that active writing is better since you need to sell a point, but passive should not simply be discarded. (sorry, I have some personal beef with the matter).

As for the Mylin and bartender sequence, its still clear what you meant, but the wording is kind of odd in that situation and isolated, it appears like what I said before.

Out of curiosity, Is Mylin a bit of a womanizer? (something that might have been hinted at by the guild of lovers he has). I had the impression (just from the piece you gave) that he was a kind and considerate fellow who is a bit exasperated by the inordinate amount of attention he receives from the opposite sex.



Maxine, since I am new here, would you mind giving me a bit of a short run down on what exactly the Dailin are? They seem interesting, but your summary just now does not really clarify thing well for an outsider.

[Drathi]

xD Well, also I'm writing this knowing the girl I'm writing it for knows the story of these two already. For you guys, just knowing that they are travelers who are together might be enough.

Now, is Mylin a womanizer or tired of the attention? It's a bit of both. xD He womanizes, but the exasperation comes from th Killer Queens. Basically, their story is that he broke their hearts and they all wanna capture him... Mylin's been traveling for seven years, so he has plenty of experience with the ladies. XD He's a bit of an ass towards a lot of people, but he has a soft spot for Nancy--getting often accused of being pedo (she's 16 and he's 24).

In a way, this story is a prequel to something I wrote last year that was the "How did it happen?" story for Mylin marrying Nancy.

[Weeaboolits]

Decided to do some actual writing, a short scene for my story featuring a witch hunter in action. I didn't do much proofreading beyond checking spelling.

[spoiler]My heart was pounding, and my palms were drenched in sweat; I was nervous, this was my first witch hunt, after all. I quietly wiped my hands dry on my hakama as I carefully observed my target, a blonde-haired girl who looked to be in her early teens, she wore a large, wide-brimmed hat, the sort of thing you would see in stories. She didn't look particularly dangerous from here, but I knew better, you can't judge a witch by appearances.

As she walked silently down the wooded path, I followed her as stealthily as I could, moving quietly through the treetops. Though she fit the description, I needed to confirm my target before I could act, but I had to do so without revealing my presence. As I racked my brain trying to think of a way to confirm her nature without giving myself away, I heard a loud crack from the branch beneath me, my heart sank. I quickly moved to a thicker branch, praying it wasn't too late.

The girl stopped for a moment, looking around, had she heard it? I held my breathe and waited apprehensively. After what felt like an eternity, she finally turned around and began walking once more. Cautiously, I continued my pursuit, but no sooner had I begun to move than she stopped again. Hopefully it had just been a wild animal that had gotten her attention, but there was a good chance she had noticed me. I had to decide on a course of action, if she had really noticed me, it was in my best interest to flee, without the element of surprise there was a good chance I wouldn't come out of this encounter alive.

As I began planning my retreat, I was interrupted by a loud crash. I looked down to see that the base of the tree had erupted into flames, there was no question at this point, she had definitely noticed me.

I leapt from the branch as the tree began to fall, at this point my only real choice was to attempt an escape, but as the surrounding trees began falling around me, I realized that it was too late.

As I plummeted toward the ground, I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to die.[/spoiler]

[Drathi]

Also, I figure I might as well pose this question here, because all of us are fantasy-savvy to an extent. XD

So, my one character, Guy, in an RP learned that his mother was a witch, but the reason he can use minor magic is not because of her, but because his father had prolonged exposure to magicite. However Guy has used pretty high level spells, although they pretty much cripple him. Initially it was thought he was getting it from being exposed to dragon magic for a long time--his partner is a shapeshifting dragon.

In a nutshell, he's not a wizard, mage, warlock, and certainly not a witch. I used the term "Conductor" as his classification. I'm still trying to work the kinks out of his abilities, so some ideas would be nice. The only thing with Guy is he has inherited his father's ability to use minor magic as well, which puts him in a slight gray area.

1. In order to use magic, Guy must be near a source or have been in contact with a source for a long time. Basically, he absorbs mana or can borrow it from a source.

2. The only magic spells Guy can use with his own mana are Naeq andKaem, which are basically lifting and throwing spells.

3. Depending on who's mana he's absorbing, Guy gains a special ability along with a different spell set. For example, right now his partner is a Stormbringer Dragon (self explainitory what they are like), so all his magic attacks aside from Naeq and Kaem are electric based. In addition, he gains a resistance to electricity--right now it currently takes about 40 bolts of lightning to actually hurt him. This is only because he's absorbing mana from a dragon. XD

[greycolors]

Umm...so he is a spellshaper or manipulator of sorts? As in, he does not generate his own spells but is changing or shaping the spells of others? That is interesting, though I am still fuzzy on how he is getting his powers. Are the spells he uses generated by his own power or the ambient power of his allies? Also, what exactly is your question?

[Drathi]

[greycolors]

Umm...sounds pretty interesting. I can't see anything wrong with him. I am curious if his absorption affects the target in any way. Does it, for example, weaken his Dragon friend. If so, could it be used against an enemy to turn their powers against them?

[Drathi]

[Sampson]

I was recently hit (literally, believe it or not) with the idea of writing a story about a magical high school...only from the teachers' perspective. Which, of course, I'm sure has been done before, but I plan on going into far greater detail on the rather juicier parts of life as a faculty member, including extramarital affairs (it's a boarding school), messing with each other's lives and blaming it on a student, and the occasional death threat.

[greycolors]

Umm...sounds like fun. I hope you continue that idea.

[NessySchu]

That sounds very interesting.

[Sampson]

Once I recover from the aforementioned head wound, I shall begin writing!

[NessySchu]

So... How exactly did it hit you?