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Golden Deer Pub Community Forums • General Writing - Page 48
Page 48 of 91

Posted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:13 am
by greycolors
Umm...I posted this in the art and legends section a little while ago. This is basically the story of my guild (Canus) and its travels. It is told from the perspective of Kuroko the zodiac. So far, I have not actually reached the start of the game as far as writing is concerned so I need to get working on it. I have restarted the game with the intentions of finding the dialogue and events I missed from memory. That said, I would like any criticism or suggestions since I am terrible at proofreading my own work.

First: the characters

[spoiler]
Kuroko Nakuris
Zodiac
15 years old
Likes: Reading, Quiet, night time
Dislikes: Big groups, creepy things, getting up early
Personality: Shy, quiet, intelligent, stubborn.

“Uuum, i think we are going the wrong way...”
Kuroko isn’t exactly the sort of person you would normally expect to see in the labyrinth. Very at home in the deep libraries of the Observatory of the Heavens, she rather out of place in the bustling adventurer’s haven of Armoroad. After being convinced by one of her professors to get some real world experience, she took an offer from the Canus guild to become an adventurer. Having never even left the Observatory grounds before, she is rather nervous and uncomfortable in Armoroad. Although she would really like to return home, her stubborn streak and rabid curiosity has kept her in Armoroad to see things through. Lacking much experience, she is nervous that she will not be needed at all. Nevertheless, she works hard at her new job. Being good with pen, paper, and drawing, she is also tasked with creating the maps of the labyrinth. Her celestial field readings are also key to the party finding its bearings deep in the maze.


Justin Tepes Canus
Guild Leader/Manager/Trainer
20 years old
Likes: Good friends
Dislikes: Unnecessary risks
Personality: friendly, easy going, average

“Remember, your job is to come back alive.”
The Canus guild owner and manager. After being asked by the Marigold and Willshire families, he agreed to form a guild to explore and exploit the depths of the labyrinth. He does not go down into the labyrinth with the rest of the guild for personal reasons. He takes care of all of the official business of the guild, such as purchasing supplies and equipment, selling off the goods they find, and dealing with the senatus. While he is normally friendly and easy going, he is strict on a few rules and always insists that everyone take as many precautions as possible. Because of this, he is sometimes seen like a bit of a worry wart. Although he does not come across as anything but average, he trains all the guild members and seems oddly familiar with the workings of the labyrinth. He takes the dangers of the labyrinth very seriously and will get angry at people who take it lightly.


Masumaro Kana
Ninja
20? years old
Likes: completing missions, Shiori
Dislikes: carelessness
Personality: serious, stoic, quiet

“There are always greater dangers and stronger foes. You are never prepared enough.”
Kana is an enigmatic person. The only person that knows him well is his subordinate and trainee, Shiori. The two of them never reveal where they came from or why the are in Armoroad. He prefers to silently watch in the shadows most of the time, and rarely speaks to the other guild members. His face is always mask like, never showing much emotion, although his eyes are piercing. This usually intimidates people that try to talk with him. In the labyrinth he is surprisingly dependable, however, and is always there to back up his team mates. Despite his unsociable nature, he is not uncaring and worries about the safety of his guild-mates. Whenever real danger approaches, he and his shadows are always there to cover the others. He is also always reading and collecting information, as such he is very knowledgeable in anything his teammates should think to ask him, should they have enough courage to even speak to him. He seems to know Justin from before the guild started.


Hakamachi Shiori
Ninja
14 years old
Likes: Kana, winning
Dislikes: losing
Personality: strong willed, energetic, self confident

“Don’t you dare insult my master! Our ninja arts are superior to any of yours!”
Shiori is the polar opposite of her master, Kana. Even so, the two seem to get along perfectly. Shioir often buts heads with the other members of the guild over who is superior. A habit for which she is constantly reprimanded. Her confidence in herself is not entirely unfounded, however, as she is very talented. She can also sometimes be a bit childish. When push comes to shove and real danger appears she is surprisingly level headed and quick thinking. Her pride in ninjutsu and her master, Kana, often gets her into fights. She and Kuroko share a bad friend sort of relationship. Both hold a great deal of pride in their respective arts and neither is willing to admit the other is better in any way. Shiori is one of the only members able to draw out Kuroko’s stubborn side.


Tong Mei Ling
Monk
18 years old
Likes: having fun, winning, sleeping
Dislikes: meditating, snakes
Personality: friendly, cheerful, easy going

“I’ll show you the power of a thousand years of martial arts!”
Meiling, as she usually has people call her, is a friendly and easy going person. She was originally a member of a sect of fighting monks, but she was rather lax about the spiritual side of the enlightened way. This penchant eventually got her kicked out. After wandering for a while, she ended up in Armoroad. At the Bistro, one day, she met Justin and ended up agreeing to join the guild. She is confident in her skills but does not get worked up about it. She does like a good fight, however, and is willing to take on anyone or anything that challenges her. Meiling is also an excellent sleeper and can take a nap anywhere, anytime, even while on the job. Her easy going and understanding nature made her Kuroko’s first real friend in Armoroad after Justin. She is always friendly and supportive of Kuroko since Meiling sees Kuroko trying her best.


Sampson
Gladiator
25 years old
Likes: fighting, money, freedom
Dislikes: being lazy
Personality: serious, forceful, intelligent

“Never take your freedom for granted and never let it go.”
After winning enough to free himself from the gladiator rings, he fled his home country. He ended up buying passage to Armoroad, where he worked as a mercenary for a while. Eventually he found one of Justin’s notices and took it. The idea of being a founding member of a guild appealed to him and he signed up. Having pulled himself out of slavery and into freedom by his own two hand, he is very serious about freedom. He despises people who take it for granted. After his days as a gladiator, he has always wanted more money, seeking to free himself from dependance on anyone else. He dislikes Meiling’s laid back nature.


Jack Nighthawk
buccaneer
24 years old
Likes: money, rum, sailing, taking risks
Dislikes: land lubbers, sitting around
Personality: flamboyant, confident, strong

“These land rats er, no match fer the dangers of the high seas!”
A....privateer who has worked in the waters around Armoroad for some time. He frequents the Butterfly Bistro, which is how he met Justin. One day, the two got into an argument over whether the labyrinth or the high seas was more dangerous. Justin challenged Jack to take on the labyrinth for himself. In the heat of the moment, he agreed and thus ended up as part of the guild. The guild uses his ship, the White Pearl, when exploring the seas of Armoroad. Jack looks down on “land lubbers” as being too weak to take on the ocean. He holds a certain respect for Justin, however, and is not too unfriendly towards the rest of the guild. He does look down on bookish people, and so is initially unfriendly towards Kuroko. He is also initially unfriendly towards the royal siblings, Marietta and Wriggle, believing them to be stuck up. Even so, he eases up on each of them after they get to know each other a bit more.


Marietta Willshire
Princess
18 years old
Likes: freedom, having fun, Wriggle, Luna
Dislikes: tedious things, ceremony
Personality: friendly, naive, cheerful, strong, excitable

“Fear not, my people, for no monster shall impede our progress!”
Third daughter to the king of a minor country, Marietta decided to set out with her younger brother, Wriggle, to find their own fame and fortune. Due to her position, she was aware that neither she nor her brother had a good chance of becoming anything if they stayed at home. More likely than not Marietta would have been married off to some neighboring prince and Wriggle would have been given some dinkey chunk of the kingdom. Thus the two took some money from home and, together with their retainer, Luna, set off to find their own way. Marietta is a friendly and smart girl, but she has grown up sheltered and as such is sometimes out of touch with things. She is always eager to try new things, however, and thus is willing to try her had at adventuring. She and Wriggle are the guild’s financial backers as they provided the funds for the guild to start up and get premise. Her excitable nature also gets her into trouble as she gets overly excited about new and unusual things.


Wriggle Wilshire
Prince
10 years old
Likes: Marietta, Luna
Dislikes: people who dislike marietta
Personality: innocient, good natured, cheerful, loyal

“What Marietta said!”
Wriggle is the young and starry eyed (quite literally) fourth son of the house of Wilshire. He follows Marietta around and basically does whatever she does. He is even more naive that she is and will believe anything he is told. He is good natured and so gets along with most everyone in the guild. He dislikes Jack, however, because of his initial hostility towards the royal pair. His innocent nature endears him to the guild and he is often treated like a mascot along with Minea.


Luna Tristam
Hoplite
18 years old
Likes: the Wilshires, honor
Dislikes: recklessness, foolishness
Personality: serious, hardworking, sensible

“Honestly, milady, those mushrooms were obviously poisonous.”
Luna is a childhood friend of Marietta’s and the sibling’s retainer. She balances out Marietta’s unbridled enthusiasm and hastiness. Because she is much more sensible and level headed than the siblings, she ends up having to look after her master’s various mistakes. She is patient with the two, but not above giving them a good scolding when they do something foolish. Luna works hard behind the scenes so that Marietta’s various actions work out properly. It was she, after all, that ended up doing most of the negotiating when the guild was being formed. She is wary of Jack, considering him to be a no good ruffian. She is also the first to notice the oddities in Justin’s nature.


The Marigold family (Alice, Lyrica, Ness, Barsted, Lorelei)
Farmers
ages: 15-14-17-17-18
Likes: the other siblings, money, adventure
Dislikes: regular farming
Personality: (Alice: nice, sincere, shy. Lyrica: lazy. Ness & Barsted: pranksters, friendly, silly. Lorelei: mature, caring, reserved.)

“If its valuable, we’ll find it!”
The children of the Marigold family decided, collectively, that regular farming was too tedious and dull. Thus they concocted a scheme to create a guild. They would use the guild to find places to harvest in the Labyrinth and reap the rewards. They found their start up money and financial backing in the form of the Wilshire siblings. After that, they negotiated with Justin, the trainer, about starting the guild. After much debate, it was agreed upon that Justin would have control of the guild and the Marigold and Wilshire families would be stock holders.


Minea
Wildling
10 years old
Likes: Justin, meat, animals
Dislikes: people mean to Justin, bitter things
Personality: innocent, shy, loyal

“.......”
Minea is an unusual girl. She was found, alone, some years ago by Justin and has since been in his care. Although she can clearly understand language, she never speaks for whatever reason. Because Justin has taken care of her, she is very loyal to him and is quickly angered by people who are mean to him. She has shown a talent in controlling animals, and seems to be able to even communicate with them. Minea is at home in the wild and finds the Labyrinth easy to traverse. She does not easily open up to the others and chooses to stick close to Justin whenever possible.


Rivera
Arbalist
16 years old
Likes: hitting the target
dislikes: missing the target
Personality: serious, ernest, gullible

“Yes! I hit it, bullseye!.....sorry....”
Rivera is a young Arbalist. Having grown up in Armoroad, she is not very knowledgeable about anything outside of the port city. Having only heard tales from the various traveler, she will believe just about any story she hears about far of places. She does, however, become upset if she finds out someone lied to her. She is the daughter of a local merchant and has practiced archery in her spare time since she was young. Upon seeing the guild advertisement, she sprung at the opportunity for adventure, much to her father’s irritation. She works hard and taker her job seriously, but is also easily excitable.


Bill and Lilly Marigold
Farmers
Ages: (27, 25)
Like: the Marigold family, routine
Dislike: Travel, strange things
Personality: Bill: good natured, fatherly. Lilly: kind, quiet, motherly

“Well, I suppose I could help you kids out a bit.”
Bill is the older cousin of the Marigold children and Lilly is his wife. They are simple folk who are more than fine with making a living selling produce. Even so, they are supportive of the children, and have agreed to give them a hand starting up. Thus the couple have agreed to do harvesting work in the first few floors while the children learn how to handle themselves in the Labyrinth. They act like an aunt and uncle to many of the younger members of the guild.
[/spoiler]

And part 1:
[spoiler]

Chapter 1: Arrival at Armoroad

Kuroko sat at the Butterfly Bistro’s bar. She fidgeted and bit her lower lip as she looked around. It wasn’t as though she had been expecting to see anyone she knew, but she still felt more uncomfortable just sitting there. The only person who she was familiar with was Kana, the man who sat next to her. Thats not to say they knew each other well though, Kana had simply brought here there because of a job offer. She felt exceedingly uncomfortable here, surrounded by strangers in a kingdom far from home. It didn’t help that she was required to remover her traditional metal flux vanes that normally floated behind her.

After a few minutes of sipping at the fruit juice she had ordered from the bar lady, she glanced over to Kana. His long black hair, that he wore in a pony tail, gave him an almost feminine appearance. Normally this might have made him a bit more approachable to her, but his mask like face intimidated Kuroko. His jet black outfit and belt full of throwing knives and other mysterious pouches did not help the case. He was, at the moment, absorbed in reading something on a scroll and had not said a thing since the two had arrived. The two of them were in the Bistro waiting to meet someone, the make and manner of whom she knew not.

“Umm, Kana?” Kuroko asked, her voice weak and a bit shaky. Kana looked up from his document and turned his head to face hers. This made Kuroko even more uncomfortable. Kana’s eyes were sharp and piercing like those of a hawk. Even worse, his face was always expressionless, so she could never gauge his mood especially with his mouth hidden by his red scarf. Still more frightening, his change in posture had revealed the glint of a retractable blade hidden in one of his arm guards.

“Uh, umm. When is the person we are meeting coming?” Kuroko squeezed out after a moments stammering. He answered a simple “Noon,” then turned back to his scroll. An almost tangibly awkward silence formed. Kana’s short response had cut off all avenues to continue the conversation. To fill the silence Kuroko tried to ask Kana a few things, about his work, but the ninja insisted he could not talk about his work or his methods to any outsider. Eventually she gave up and returned to sipping at her pineapple drink, letting her long purple hair fall around her face to obscure the watching eyes all around her.

To have something to do, Kuroko pondered how she had ended up stuck here, in this bar, miles from any place she knew. Kuroko had never been the adventurous sort, having contended herself with researching the stars in the tall towers of the place all Zodiacs called home, the great Observatory of the Heavens. She had always been so comfortable there, in fact, that she had never even left the Observatory grounds since she had come to study there.

And then she had graduated. Several years ahead of any of her peers, she had finished her studies and learned all the ancient secrets of the stars. It had been her intention to become a researcher and devote herself to uncovering the darkest mysteries of the cosmos. But one day, a year ago, Kana had arrived at the Observatory with offers of employment, asking if any of the students wished to become adventurers of the Labyrinth of Armoroad. The council of elders decided to answer Armoroad’s call and gather a group of young zodiacs to go become adventurers.

For several months after the notice had gone up, apprentices had departed for Armoroad. Kuroko had not thought highly of the offer at the time. After all, it entailed using the ancient arts of celestial field manipulation for crude things like combat. Even so, many of the other students had encouraged Kuroko to go along as well to gain some real world experience. When Professor Landis, who Kuroko respected greatly, had suggested going, she eventually gave in and signed up.

Because she had accepted late, the rest of her peers had already left on a ship several days before. A few weeks later, Kana had returned to the observatory. He mentioned that the guild he was in happened to have a spot. Kuroko had already resigned herself to not going, and had been caught of guard by the sudden offer. In another day she had found herself feeling ill on the deck of a ship. The boat ride had been an unpleasant haze of stomach churning rocking, maggoty bread and hard stale rum. Her subsequent departure and journey from the docks into town earlier in the morning was equally fuzzy. And now she was here, in a bar miles from home with only a silent assassin for company.

Her brooding was brought to a halt when Kana spoke up for the first time in twenty minutes. “He is here,” was the extent of his speech. Kuroko looked around to see a young man approaching the two of them. He was dressed in a white collared shirt and vest. His clothes were business like but he wore them rather casually, giving him an easy going appearance. All in all, he looked fairly average, not at all like any of the warriors or sailors that populated the Bistro. Having reached their bar, the man gave a greeting to Kana. After a quick exchange, Kana pointed at Kuroko. The man strode over and extended his hand.

“Hi there, you must be the Zodiac who answered our job listing.” Kuroko nodded and shook the man’s hand gingerly. He introduced himself as Justin Tepes Canus and the one who had put out the hiring notice. “I’m afraid I haven’t gotten your name yet.”

“N-Nice to meet you. It’s Kuroko Nakuris,” she stammered. “Are the others guild members coming here too?”

“Guild members? Well...” Justin answered, scratching his head. “Technically speaking we are not a guild yet.” Justin continued, “I have simply been gathering people so far, since we don’t have enough people yet. Kana didn’t mention that to you?”

Kuroko shook her head. Justin sighed and explained that he was assembling members to form a guild to explore the labyrinth.

“I’ve called them to all meet at the new premise tomorrow. It’s the shop near the entrance to the labyrinth with the sign, Canus, above it.” Justin continued. “If you’re still interested, stop by there tomorrow around two in the afternoon.”

Kuroko nodded her comprehension.

“So, how has your stay in Armoroad been so far?” Justin asked, conversationally.

Kuroko was unsure how to answer. Eventually she answered, choosing to be courteous as opposed to truthful. “A-alright I suppose.”

Justin shook his head and chuckled. “No need to lie. You looked pretty nervous earlier, when I arrived. Now I don’t want to force you into anything. If you are having second thoughts, I’ll pay for for your trip back home. After all, you came because of a misunderstanding.”

Kuroko considered the offer for a moment. It was tempting to be able to return to the Observatory and her studies. On the other hand, giving up and returning at this point felt like a defeat. She could not guess where the notion came from but Kuroko somehow did not want to give up now. She shook her head. “No, I-I’ll stay.”

“You sure?” Justin asked, inquiringly. Kuroko nodded. “Well, alright. We’re glad to have you.” said Justin, smiling.

Justin took a seat at the bar and the two of them talked for a while longer. Justin proved himself knowledgeable in a great variety of subjects. His wealth of knowledge tickled Kuroko’s natural curiosity. Soon she was asking him about everything from the animals in the area to the state of the local government. During the conversation, it dawned on Kuroko just how little she knew about the outside world. Certainly she had read books before, but hearing first hand accounts was something else. Occasionally they tried to get Kana into the conversation, but he resolutely refused to hold a long exchange.

Eventually Justin explained that he had other obligations to attend to. Kuroko apologized for keeping him so long and Justin got up. After reminding her to come to the office the next day, Justin gave her a note.

“This is for the Aman’s Inn,” he explained. “Your lodging arraignments have already been taken care of. All you need to do is give the note to the innkeeper and say that Justin sent you.” Then he got up. After a last word to Kana, he waved the two of them good by and left.

After a short while, Kuroko decided to go. She placed three gold en onto the table and got up. Kana did not come along, saying that he also had business to attend to. Heading to the door, she waved her left hand. Her long, flat, metal flux vanes responded to her motion and flew around her like a metal cape or wings. She felt herself lift off the ground as the celestial energy fields channeled through the vanes. Under their power, she floated over to the entrance of the bistro. The owner, Missy, waved to her as she left. She felt a bit better after talking with Justin. Now that she thought back, there were a lot of interesting things she had seen on the way to the Bistro. She felt too tired to go check them out now, but she resolved to go look around town tomorrow before the meeting.
[/spoiler]


Part 2
[spoiler]
The next day Kuroko awoke. She was in a large and lavish four poster bed. Pushing away the luscious linens she got up. The early morning light streamed into the windows. The room was very spacious and well furnished. There was a pouffy couch opposite the bed and to the right, an ornate dresser under the windows. On the other wall was Kuroko’s chest that had been brought up from the docks the day before along with a writing desk and chair. The room had a fabulous view of the bay. Down below she could see the docks, forrest and the hills enclosing the bay. The whole scene looked like a great sideways crescent moon land jutting out into the deep blue sea.

Kuroko had been astonished by the quality of the lodgings provided. Considering that Armoroad was still in economic recovery, she had expected the inn to be a of bare bones. As it stood, her room here was even more roomy and comfortable than her dorm room at the Observatory.

Crossing the room, Kuroko entered her private bathroom. A quick look into the mirror confirmed that she had not handled the sea voyage well. Even after a good nights sleep there were still slights shadows under her eyes. Her complexion was also a bit pasty still. It did not help that she usually did not get up nearly this early. It was only her early sleep the previous day that had caused this.

After washing up, she removed her night gown and donned her traditional purple Zodiac robe. She was about to reach into the closet to get the rest of her equipment when she remembered something. Mortified at her own forgetfulness, she strode to her trunk and withdrew a heavy tome with some difficulty along with a pair of scrolls, several pieces of parchment, and a large metal clockwork device. After piling all these onto the desk, she got busy. Using the ink and quill provided on the desk, she got to work scrawling calculations and notes onto her first sheet of parchment. It took a few more pages and several minutes for her to finish, checking the device every now and then for readings. Finally she took the last sheet and scrawled an L rune inside a downwards triangle along with short string of numbers. Pocketing this last sheet, she returned to putting her equipment on.

It took her a minute or two to get her dragon head shaped shoulder field manipulator on. It was heavy and made of solid brass after all. After securing it, she pulled her control glove onto her left hand and put her beret on. A wave of her hand and her flux vanes formed up behind her.

Soundlessly, Kuroko floated out of her room and down the stairs. As she descended, Kuroko was greeted by the innkeeper. He was a short young boy, the innkeeper, and he seemed to never be without a bright, welcoming smile. Kuroko had initially taken him to be a girl, but he had corrected her when they met the day before.

“Miss Kuroko, would you like some breakfast this morning” he asked cheerfully. It seemed that he did not begrudge her mistake. Kuroko accepted the offer and took her seat at one of the smaller tables in the dining hall. Already there were a few other people eating, even though it was the crack of dawn. Kuroko supposed that this was normal for a city, although in the Observatory nights were usually long and mornings late. The one of the chefs brought over a plate of food Kuroko had never seen before. He called it saltfish buljol, a dish that turned out to be a mix of salted fish, tomatoes, peppers, avocado, onions and garlic. The mashup was both warm and mild at the same time. It was quite good, although spicier than Kuroko was used to. She especially enjoyed the salted fish and avocado, as they were items that she had not seen before before.

As she sat eating, it occurred to Kuroko that it was odd that Justin could afford to let her have such luxuries when the guild was not even up and running yet. Especially considering that she had not yet agreed to join and she was only a recent graduate of the Observatory. Surely such practices were not normal. She mentally filed that with the other questions she would ask Justin at the meeting. Kuroko then turned her attention to what she was going to do before the meeting. It was in the afternoon so she had the whole morning to look around Armoroad. She had not gotten much exploring done the day before due to her ill mood and tiredness. Her curiosity was taking hold of her now, however, and she began to think about what places she had seen before that were worth a closer examination. It also occurred to Kuroko that her foul mood was due just as much to her ill feeling from the boat ride as it had been from nerves and uncomfortableness in a foreign land. A tingling of nervousness at being alone crept up, but she silenced them by focusing on her exploration plan.

After breakfast, Kuroko said good by to the innkeeper then headed out into the bustling city of Armoroad.
[/spoiler]


Part 3
[spoiler]
The city truly was a fascinating place. There were just so many thing Kuroko had never seen before. With a clear head and new day, the port city of Armoroad was much more enjoyable. Kuroko’s first order of business was to go down to the docks. Inver Port had once been the heart of Armoroad, but after the disaster many years ago, it had lost connections with most of the world. Only in the past few years had the port been active once again. Or so Kuroko had heard from the harbormaster when she had arrived. That was all well and good, but what interested her more was the sea itself. The observatory was on a mountaintop far from the coastline, so she had only seen the sea on her journey to Armoroad. On departure day things had been hectic and on the journey itself, she had spent more time being ill than watching the water. Now, as she looked out from the seaside, she realized just how beautiful it was.

The sun had just risen over the water, which sparkled as it stretched out as far as the eye could see. She had read about the sea before in the text books in the Observatory’s library. She knew all the stats, from the size of the neighboring seas to the percent ratio of salt to water. She had even done a paper on how they were affected by the fields from Urisa the sea constellation. And yet none of the records held the important facts. Endless water, clear and blue, stretching on into the horizon. The cool breeze with the slight smell of salt. The cry of the gulls. Nothing was written about these amazing sights in her texts back home.

For a long time Kuroko simply floated, watching the waves lap at the stone walls of the sidewalk. Eventually, as the sun rose higher in the sky, she remembered that she’d had other things to do. With the light of a new day, the bustling port city was much more inviting. The shops and stalls in the market square were filled to the brim with fantastic things Kuroko had never seen before. The foods, especially, were all so interesting looking. There were rows of colorful fish of all shapes and sizes, and crates of fruits of every color of the rainbow. It took her a while to decide and then muster up the courage to ask one of the stall owners for one of the strange red fruits she was selling. After handing over her one and a quarter en, Kuroko drew out a knife and cut away the skin the way she had seen other people do so. The red and spiky outside revealed a white inside full of tiny black seeds. As Kuroko continued on, she took small bites of the fruit. It was subtly sweet and watery. She enjoyed it immensely.

As she traveled around the streets and alleys, Kuroko came to a comforting realization. For all its differences, Armoroad was still functionally the same as the city that surrounded the Observatory. They might look different, but there were still bakeries, cobblers, smithies and tailors, just like home. The thought that the basics of life were still the same here cheered Kuroko up even more. As she thought this, she glanced down at the receptor disk on the palm of her hand. Instinctively, she moved her palm into one of the field lines of Sol, the sun. The half golden glow it gave off told her that it was noon. The meeting was coming up, and Kuroko needed to leave time to find the guild house. She decided that she would pick up something to eat at the Butterfly Bistro before heading to the meeting place.

Forty-five minutes later, with salt fish sandwich in hand, Kuroko floated down the street towards the entrance to the labyrinth. As Missy had said, when Kuroko had asked for directions, the road to the entrance headed right towards the gargantuan tree that occupied the center of town,Yggdrasil. This was another thing Kuroko had read about in her studies. She had once taken them to be nothing more than myths and yet here it was, a massive tree reaching to the heavens. It’s branches overshadowed nearly a quarter of the town at once. Kuroko had to crane her neck to look at it now and she still could not see the whole thing at once. She imagined that a single leaf would be the size of a grown man. Although wondrous as the sea, Kuroko felt much more nervous about this landmark. Beautiful and mysterious as it was, it was also intimidating. Much like a great giant peering down upon a number of ants. Idly, she considered what would happen if one of the branches fell. Kuroko shuddered and quickly pushed the thought from her mind.

The shops on this road were clearly much more geared to adventurers. Shops selling medicine, armor and weapons were all common. Kuroko did not have time to examine these places, however, so she continued along the upward slanting path. If she had tried to walk this way on foot, she would likely have been exhausted. Thus she was quite glad to be able to float. Her movement was all but effortless thanks to the power of the stars.

Eventually, Kuroko reached the guild house. The building was not simply near the entrance to the labyrinth, it was the last shop on the road before the path to Yggdrasil itself. the only structure after it was a large wall surrounding something Kuroko could not see. The guild house itself was a bit larger than the other shops on the road, its was a two story wood building. Its walls were painted a dark olive green and over its heavy double doors hung a sign saying “Canus”. Under the sign was a smaller plaque that had clearly been attached recently. On it was carved the words “Guild House.” Kuroko took a deep breath and floated forwards, then she knocked on the door.
[/spoiler]

Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 4:20 am
by Weeaboolits


I am pretty pleased with how this drawing turned out, posting it in this thread since it's a character from a story I'm working on.

The character is a young medic named Mint Clover, she dislikes fighting, but is well-versed in hand-to-hand and wears a pair of weighted-knuckle gloves for self defense, she travels with her sister Pepper, who I haven't drawn yet.

Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:10 am
by Drathi
*spazzs* Mint... If you have a Basil, I will facedesk. ; o ; I knew I should've started working on Dragon's Spice sooner. Now I'll feel like I'm ripping off of you. XD

Ah, well... I'm liking a ton of the ideas I'm writing right now.

Posted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:14 am
by SirthOsiris
I had time, so I thought, "what the hell? Let's make SOMETHING."

So I half-assed my way into a prologue I've been trying to write for a while.

[spoiler]“As the earth cries, to the heavens we fly...”
An old man lay in his bed, staring blanky at the ceiling of a wooden hut. His eyes appeared empty, soulless. His face was gaunt from age and illness, his life ebbing away every second. A single window lit his face slightly, casting harsh shadows across half of it; steady rain pounded on the soft ground outside; an occasional crack of distant lightning lit the air. The old man turned his head to look outside, seeing something far off that no one else could see.

In the center of town, a giant fire had been lit. Beings seemingly child-like in stature ran helter-skelter around it, throwing books into the fire.
One stopped next to such a being, grey-haired with a scar along his eye, standing grim-faced at the fire.
“My lord Archmage,” he uttered, “are you sure-”
“Dammit!” he cried. “All of it! That is what we agreed to! None of these books must survive!”
The person flinched at the outburst, and ran off to continue his work; the act of burning the notes kept in this town, an experiment that should not have happened, but needed to, in order to protect it from an endless was raged outside.
The scarred man turned his attention down the main road, towards the outskirts of the town. There, he watched a battle raging far off into the distance.

The battle at the outskirts was between beings that were human. One force was organized, with infantry, cavalry, and archers. The other was small, disorganized, but held their ground, determined to not let their enemy pass them by. To do so would open the path to the town they were protecting, and spill more blood in a war without end.
However, despite their valiant defense, someone called the cry of retreat. Half of the leftover force reacted immediately, while those who did not became confused, and then cut down in the wake of the opposing army.
The defenders ran. They ran as fast as they could. Hoping for any god of the universe to act in their favor.

“As the earth cries, to the heavens; to the heavens, we fly!”
The old man in bed had regained his senses, as he reached towards the ceiling, and had cried out these words. Just as he had, his hand dropped to the bed, his head lain limp on his pillow. The fire in his eyes died, and his body became cold.
But just as he said that...

The ground shook lightly for a moment. The scarred man in the town staggered from a loss of balance. Many behind him gave surprised cries. He looked around, confused, wondering if it was an earthquake, or...
He raised a fist in the air as he looked to the edge of town. Just as the defending army had crossed a certain point, a giant fissure opened up in an exact circle around the town, and a giant blue barrier rose from it. It locked out the attacking army, protecting the town from invasion. The barrier reached into the heights, blocking out some of the rain as it became whole a mile above the scarred man's position. Cheers erupted around him as the burners saw this, knowing that the experiment was a success: a barrier to isolate the town, hopefully to protect it from the chaos of the outside world.
And...

An hour passed.
The scarred man had rode out to the outskirt of the barrier, facing a direction in the southeast. He dropped from the horse, a heavy cloak beating off what little rain could skreech through the barrier. He stared out in the distance, contemplating the position he, his people, and his now deceased friend had been put into.
He also waited for the next part of the experiment to take effect. He did not wait long.
A much larger quake erupted around him. His horse neighed loudly and began running around. He almost lost his balance, and crouched down into the wet grass. His face went into shock momentarily, but became composed when he realized it was all part of the plan.
The ground outside the barrier fell away. In fact, the entire horizon began dropping steadily. The distant hills and forests began falling below the ground around the scarred man's feet. He composed himself, stood up, and walked to the edge of the barrier.
The ground was not falling; instead, the entire area was rising. The other part of the plan had gone into effect, and was successful; the entire raising of town, and movement else where. To become self-sustained for a while, completely separate, and hopefully find new lands elsewhere.
As he smiled to himself, however, his moment of pride was short lived. In the distance, he saw a light. It was small, at first, but then its glow intensified rapidly. Suddenly, a spire of purple light erupted from a point to the southeast, reaching into the sky. As it did so, light along the ground spread in all directions, some coming close to the location of the town. One got close enough for the man to see what it was; a giant slash on the ground erupted in the purple light, spewing energy and fire into the air.
The surprised face once again became grim. Here was the perfect example of the element known as magic gone wrong. The barrier and lifting of this island was an example of it gone right: contained; used for a purpose; careful control; used sparingly.
However, what erupted out there was magic used with no containment, control, or consideration for the world around it.
The effects were, as those who recorded the event would say, Cataclysmic.

So begins the chronicles of these people, and the world they lived in.[/spoiler]

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 4:23 am
by beekee

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 5:29 am
by noodles

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:12 am
by Weeaboolits
I am lazy and don't draw as often as I should.

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 3:43 pm
by Doktor_Q

Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 12:17 am
by SirthOsiris
Here is a remixed prologue. This time I thought about it more, going over what I wanted over the weekend. I don't know if this will be the last version, but this one I'm a little more proud of. I'm actually going to spread this version around.

Think Final Fantasy Tactics music as you read. I think I'll be using that soundtrack for the rest of the story.

[spoiler]“As the earth cries, to the heavens we fly...”
Words uttered by a dying man. Old, feeble, of gray hair disheveled in all ways, he lay in a bed of simple make, in a house of wood. Rain battered the roof and walls, and a lone window peered out into a small town. What light came from the window cast harsh shadows on one side of the old man's face. His face was gaunt and pale, and his life ebbed away every second. He turned his head to the window, trying to see out, or to a future he had hoped to witness, but came crashing down around him at every second. A dream, dying now as he lay dying himself.

The people of the town, a short breed not escaping four and a half feet, were bustling. The light of torches held by some flew through the air as they ran; conversation consisted only of orders, shouted above the rain and thunder. One veered away from the roads to a wooden bell tower. He climbed a ladder on the side, reaching the alcove with a bell. On one side, a telescope in hand, was a middle-aged man, a scar running across his left eye, face grim set as he scanned the horizon.
“How long now, lord?” the townsman asked.
The scarred man lifted the telescope to his non-scarred eye. “They have reached the edge of the ravine,” was the reply. “Less than a mile from the border. Our defenders have met them.” He lowered the telescope. “Not long now. How are the preparations?”
“Weapons are at the ready. Every able-bodied man is getting as many innocents into hiding, while others are setting up positions. Archers in the houses, swordsmen in the alleys. Mages are few, bet set up at the ends of major roads.”
“If they go for a surround, we'll have lost. If they come up in one direction, we can at least mount a solid defense.” The scarred man sighed. “Any word on IT?”
The townsman straightened. “According to the one in charge, IT will be ready soon. Hopefully in time. Minutes maybe.”
The scarred man closed his eyes before opening them to the battle taking place far away. “Hopefully they'll time it right.”
“But... our allies will be out in the cold. They... offered us so much help for nothing in return...”
“Aye... they are soldiers. They knew the risks. They know what it is we fight for here.” The scarred man turned towards the other. “Send a message to that man, and tell him to get IT ready.”
The townsman turned sharply, and slid down the ladder, running the second he hit the wet ground. The other turned back to the horizon, bringing the telescope to his eye again.

The battle raged at the exit of a ravine. As good a place to mount a defense, where a small, organized and disciplined force could hold a whole army at bay. And did they ever mount a defense. The defenders, a taller stock than the town, locked shields and cut those who crashed against them. Few of them died, while many of their enemy did. Sword and spear clashed, while arrows rained on both forces.
But the enemy became endless, and the shout for retreat sounded. The rear went first, while the confused front line was cut down. They ran as fast as they could, hoping for some miracle as the enemy tried to regroup and charge.

The scarred man dropped the telescope, and ran to the bell, yanking the rope as hard as he could. The bell tolled across the town, and many people came forth from the houses. Some picked up swords and spears, while others knocked arrows, prepared to defend their town and peace from all who dared to oppose them.

But below them, a few chosen grouped into a circle. Holding their arms wide, a light formed in the middle of them, lighting a complicated glyph on the ground. Each one then clapped their hands in unison...

“As the earth cries, to the heavens; to the heavens, we fly!”
The dying man had felt hope. He reached to the heavens, propping himself as high as he could, his face full of life again. As sudden as he had done this, he dropped back down, his formerly upraised hand limp over the edge, his eyes drooping once more. The light in them died, and his body became cold...

As a majority of the defenders had retreated, only a few miles from the town, the ground quaked beneath their feet. Before some could cross, a fissure erupted between them, and a blue shimmer rose from it, reach and arcing into the heavens above the town. Some attempted to cross the shimmer, only to find a solid wall there.
As cheers had erupted from the townsmen, the scarred man in the bell tower thrust his fist into the air in triumph.
“We have done it!” As he cheered on, the ground quaked again, and the entire town and area was lifted along the fissure around it. Those left behind and their enemies witnessed even a shimmer along the risen earth, as it elevated higher and higher into the sky, leaving a giant, miles wide crater in the ground. The floating island rose higher, hovering at a mile above the planet it left but minutes before.

But as the townspeople cheered on, the attackers stood aghast, and the defending army made their way back, a light erupted in the east. Purple and menacing, it reached into the sky far away, so they could not see the source. Smaller, faded lights glowed along the horizon, some fast, others slow. All became quiet as they watched this display.
The scarred man threw his telescope out of the bell tower, and it cracked and broke at it bounced off the ground once. He gripped the east railing, a face full of seething rage, breathing deep and erratic, eyes and scar flaring, teeth set and grinding.
“So, you finally did it,” he said to the glowing horizon. “You finally went further than you imagined and blew it up. Countless warnings, and now everything you fought for, gone.” He leaned over the railing as he shouted. “Is this what you wanted!? Is this what you fought for?!”
There was no reply.

The horizon glowed for a night, as the island preparing a celebration for their success, the tall defenders mourning those left behind.
The scarred man stood in the doorway of the wooden house that held the dead man. Another elder walked past him, placed a soothing hand on the other's shoulder, then walked out. The scarred man stared at the cold body that once held a great figure. It looked like the man could have been sleeping, if not for the pale face, and no breathing chest.
Memories flashed into the scarred man's mind, ones of teaching, of discipline, of success and failure learned from. All now in the past.
The scarred man breathed deep, then sighed. He turned from the room, closing the door softly as he left.[/spoiler]

Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 1:25 am
by Kinokokao

Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2011 3:28 pm
by Drathi
I started writing a stry I've been meaning to write for awhile. And honestly, I think starting with this quirk of the protagonist is a great way to start. And yes, the country the setting is in is based off Spain. XD

[spoiler]The red mailboxes scattered about Darmid were always a destination for men and women sending letters to loved ones in far off lands. For avid letter-writers, such as Elias Cardinal, studying the mailman's weekly route became a necessity. His normal route was not the only important thing, but all of his detours, and stops along the way. The most dangerous part of this all was the last person to get their letter dropped into each box got their letter delivered first for that box. The first box always filled up quickly, but the obsessive letter-writers had a set of formulas to know how many letters were able to fit into each mailbox. Mailboxes have different measurements in different countries, which was why the formulator explained the variables. These two formulas have become a staple of learning for those who were determined to have their letter delivered first. Once it was learned, it was expected to be kept a secret. This was what made Darmid's "letter-crazed," as they were called dangerous. Every city, town, and village has a few of them, almost proportional to the population. In Darmid, there were twelve letter-crazed men.

"Uno," an Elven man muttered under his breath as he sat in waiting. When the clock struck 8, the mailboxes would open and the mailman would begin his route. "Dos." This is Elias Cardinal, a man easily identified by his Elf ears, freckles, and red clothes. He also had a penchant for doing things simply for the rush, giving him the nickname amongst his fellow letter-crazed as The Thriller. Right now, he was on the second floor of the clock tower. He stood next to an open window with a rooftop close by. "Tres."

DING-DONG!

DING-DONG!

Elias had to cover his ears--one ear as he climbed up onto the windowsill. The warm Espänian morning sun radiated down upon him. Leaping from the windowsill onto the roof of the building next to the clock tower, Elias began his segment of the race to that first mailbox.
[/spoiler]

Now, can you guess what will happen when 12 men get cross paths at the mailbox and try mailing their letters?

Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 12:26 am
by Drathi

Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2011 1:17 am
by Drathi
Anyone mind giving me some feedback on this. While most of this all is impromptu, I want to at least make this scene worthwhile. Basically, Kitten(Bunny's friend) wakes up after getting beaten the day before and finds that Bunny's at the cell door.

In the previous chapter, Bunny, Pink, and Blue found out Kitten was lured into a trap and went to rescue her. So, that's how he got there.

[spoiler]
"Kitten?"

Her eyes reluctantly opened. They longed to sleep; to not wake up in the same bad dream. She could not quite see who was calling to her.

"Kitten!" The figure was unmistakable. The large floppy ear-shapes hanging off the top of his head gave him away. His presence was enough for Kitten to strain her eyes to see better. The blurry figure came into focus and standing at the other side of the bars that contained her was Bunny. His bright face illuminating the darkness with his relief and happiness to see she was alright. However, that light also revealed the multiple bruises covering Kitten's arm and head.

"Bunny," she said, limping over to the bars. She clasped her hands over Bunny's as the boy held the bars. "How did you find me?"

"I don't know," Bunny replied. "I just had a feeling…" As bunny looked upon her bruises, his eyes swelled up. "He hurt you…" Kitten could feel his muscles tense under her fingers. The boy gritted his teeth. "We have to get you out of here." Bunny shook the bars in a futile effort to get the cell door to open.

"You need a key, Bunny," Kitten said. "Envy has it."

At that, Bunny withdrew his right hand and reached for his sword, only to have Kitten reach out and stop him. He looked at her, his eyes on the verge of tears. "He hurt you!" he choked. "And he has the key…I'll ki--"

"No…" Kitten's grip tightened on his wrist. "I don't want to see you hurt too! You got hurt fighting him, when he wasn't even trying."

"But…"

"Stay with me," she said, bringing his hand away from his sword. "Please? I don't want to be alone again." She could feel the tension release as Bunny took a deep breath. He released er hands and his hands came through the bars and wrapped around her. Returning the embraced, while obstructed by the bars, Kitten closed her eyes. "You said we'd stick together, right?"

"Right," Bunny's voice cracked. [/spoiler]

I want to make this an emotional moment for both (they are really young, as you remember. Of course, Bunny's a bit more mature having been a street urchin most of his life). Any ideas for how to improve on this all without telling too much as opposed to showing?

Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:06 am
by negzee


Edit:

Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 11:00 pm
by Kinokokao
I'm not at all surprised that it's a self-published work.

They're called vanity presses for a reason.

This coming from someone who has accepted the inevitability of any story she does ever finish and polish likely being regulated to, if I'm very very lucky, an indie press or, if I'm not, having to consider self-publishing just to get myself out there.

But, yeah, all those errors were something a professional publisher would have hammered out in the editing phase.

They'd also step in and tell you to back off the crazy sauce.

edit: