Golden Deer Pub Community Forums

i demand this to be read at the funeral i mean wedding

SEVEN APOPHTHEGMS FOR WOMEN

How the longest ennui flees,
When a man comes to our knees!

Age, alas! And science staid,
Furnish even weak virtue aid.

Sombre garb and silence meet;
Dress for every dame-discreet.

Whom I thank when in my bliss?
God!-and my good tailoress!

Young, a flower-decked cavern home;
Old, a dragon thence doth roam.

Noble title, leg that's fine,
Man as well: Oh were he mine!

Speech in brief and sense in mass -
Slippery for the jenny-ass!

I'm never having a wedding of my own, ever. At least a western style one. I really hate any sort of event that is to honour something about me or what I'm doing. ^-^; Inviting a bunch of family and friends and stuff... all of them like "Congratulations! Now let's eat food!"... just isn't my thing. The only thing I like is the wedding dress. I love having the honour of helping people design and choose them.

My view on weddings can be misleading, though. I think marriage is a beautiful thing.

Maxine, this is the conversation we have nearly every time I ask him to provide me with an alias: (cut for terrible language, and TERRIBLY OFFTOPIC OMFG WE ARE MODS)
[spoiler]
Me: Hey, do you have a name I can call you, on my forum?
Him: Big Dick Facial Maker
Me: I am not going to call you that!
*pause*
Me: No, seriously, is there anything I can call you?
Him: I have a big dick and make big dick facials, and to call me anything else would just be a lie. It would not be true to who I am.
Me: So, like, should I just call you (realname) or what?
Him: BDFM
Me: I am not going to call you BDFM
Me: If I were to pick you a name, like something game or Japanese rela-
Him: You are not going to call m anything gay or Japanese--
Me: game related
Him: Oh. ... Well, still.
Me: I can't just call you the Boy or "my fiancé" all the time
Him: Why not?
Me: It's... weird. I dunno! I just want a name to call you.
Him: .... "O Giver of big Dick Facials"
Me: I am not going to call you that!
Him: Aren't you proud of my ability to give big dick facials?
Me: No. I've never seen evidence of this claim of yours.
Him: Well, maybe if you let me. Let me give you a big dick facial.
Me: No. That's disgusting.
Him: Why not? You're mean.
Me: *silence* How about a cute nickname. Like Mr. Pink. You want to be Mr Pink?
Him: No. Why don't you just call me your fiancé?
Me: -_____- Fine. Maybe I'll just let them decide. I'll make a poll and everyone can submit cute names, and then you'll end up getting called UkeLover666 or something.
Him: And I'm sure I give a shit about what your forum calls me. >D
Me: You are so mean.
Him: Uh-huh
Me: I'm going to tell them you said that.
Him: Uh-huh
Me: *types furiously*
[/spoiler]

AND NOW YOU KNOW!

BDFM?....... LOL XD

I don't think I want to know what 'facial' means in this context

hurpidy durr sex jokes im so clever

I had some apple crisp. It was tasty

French fries. In my home... SO GOOD! Been years since I've had them homemade. Last time I had them was at McDonald's which can't even compare.

XD Maaaaaaxine! Don't!! He will have WON, don't you see?!

Actually, what do you think of Mr. Kino?

ON TOPIC KTHX:

I had tamales today. They were most deliciously smothered in creamy white queso. I will eat the leftovers here in a little while, and they will be equally delicious. DELICIOUS!