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I will murder all of you.

Also played Cards Against Humanity. Created the best haiku of the night:

Getting Really High
A death ray
A moment of silence

Err, Kino, sorry to burst your bubble, but haikus are 5 7 5, not 5 3 6.

...Seems like you need to practice writing haikus (pff, I so hilarious)

It's the haiku card because you play three cards and then the Card Czar reads them dramatically, as if they were a haiku, but you don't have to play cards with the proper amount of syllables -- that would be impossible.

So, a kid in my history class was hysterical over missing a paper. This kid has been annoying since the day I first met him, so I decided to do something to stop his bitching.

Me: Andy! It's not the end of the world.
Andy: That was 15% of our grade! I should drop my maj--
Me: Damn it, boy, calm your tits and listen to me. Does our teacher have a late paper policy?
Andy: What?
Me: I said, DOES OUR TEACHER HAVE A LATE PAPER POLICY?
Andy: S-she does...
Me: Bullshit, Andy, if you knew that you would sitting in your seat and waiting for her to start class.
Andy: But she didn't say anything about--
Me: I said calm your tits. There's a late policy; ask her about it. Some points are better than none.

Yes, I do call people "Boy" if they are being childish. xD

"let me have this cartoon rendering of a fictitious female sci-fi creature!"

...My cousin and I were discussing who had "dibs" on Marceline from Adventure Time like the reasonable grownups we are. I called it first, you see, and he doesn't like that.

Well, seems like your cousin is a real pain in the neck
It sure bites when people do that.
She probably isn't his type anyways.

...I will accept punishment now for these terrible jokes.

Also, you called her thirst, so you win.

Oh please, that sort of thing wouldn't drive me bats just looking at it. It isn't really draining on me.

^ Your puns suck. :3

Yes, my attempts at doing so are almost always in vein.

(11:26:45 AM) Kino: I'm watching GW
(11:27:06 AM) Jubelon: ohh <3
(11:28:17 AM) Kino: how many people do you think die over the course of the series?
(11:28:29 AM) Kino: considering the Barge and Libra, plus at least 2 entire colonies
(11:28:39 AM) Jubelon: over 9,000
(11:28:41 AM) Kino: each colony is probably 250,000 people, maybe a bit less
(11:28:42 AM) Kino: yes
(11:28:49 AM) Kino: the correct answer is over 9,000
(11:29:03 AM) Jubelon: i studied
(11:29:07 AM) Kino: I knew it
(11:29:10 AM) Kino: this is because you are a wizard

A conversation a good friend and I had over a cute chick that sits behind me in my math class. A bit of context, though it's obvious in the first few lines is that I almost always wear a grey beanie.

7:43 PM - CD-Man2021: Oh but she always wears a black beanie
7:44 PM - The Protaganist: WAIT WAIT WAIT
7:44 PM - The Protaganist: THIS IS PERFECT
7:44 PM - CD-Man2021: which is sweet cuz I always wear a grey beanie :o
7:44 PM - The Protaganist: WEAR YOUR BEANIE ONE DAY
7:44 PM - The Protaganist: YES
7:44 PM - The Protaganist: AND THEN STRIKE UP CONVERSATION
7:44 PM - CD-Man2021: DUDE
7:44 PM - CD-Man2021: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
7:44 PM - CD-Man2021: The first few days I wore mine and she was poor and irish
7:44 PM - CD-Man2021: I mean hatless
7:44 PM - CD-Man2021: then a few days later, SHE STARTED WEARING IT
7:44 PM - The Protaganist: ... pftttt
7:44 PM - CD-Man2021: I was like
7:44 PM - The Protaganist: WOAH WUT
7:44 PM - CD-Man2021: oh god
7:45 PM - CD-Man2021: soul mates
7:45 PM - The Protaganist: oh god
7:45 PM - CD-Man2021: not only that, but we got so much in common!
7:45 PM - The Protaganist: don't mess dis up
7:45 PM - The Protaganist: yeah?
7:45 PM - CD-Man2021: We both failed the first formulas quiz!
7:45 PM - The Protaganist: HO SHI-
7:45 PM - The Protaganist: SON
7:45 PM - CD-Man2021: If that's not a sign, I don't know what is
7:45 PM - The Protaganist: Yeah man
7:45 PM - The Protaganist: you gotta
7:45 PM - The Protaganist: you gotta
7:45 PM - The Protaganist: DO SOMETHING
7:45 PM - CD-Man2021: yeah
7:46 PM - CD-Man2021: I like
7:46 PM - CD-Man2021: hold open the door for her and stuff
7:46 PM - CD-Man2021: and she like
7:46 PM - CD-Man2021: says thank you
7:46 PM - The Protaganist: HOT DAMN
7:46 PM - CD-Man2021: sets me heart a flutter


We're idiots.