Rant/Complain Thread: u mad?
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@SAL, that's true, Maxine does not hold ultimate authority over the property, and that could make the straight-up approach more challenging. But my understanding is that there isn't anyone in that household that is entirely a dependent resident, or non-contributor, so she does have some say.
Re. physical conflict: from what I've read of him, I would agree he does not seem to pose much of a physical threat, and wouldn't go that route. But I dunno, I haven't met him.
Re. Discussion: Not likely.
And in general, I do support the method you presented. Just that in this particular case I'd much prefer to just punch him in the face than try to be the better person.
Sometimes you just gotta punch someone in the face.
@Maxine: I understand that you love your sister, but she also needs to understand what her association with Dirtbag is doing to the family, and that the decisions we make in our lives have consequences. Saying no to Dirtbag doesn't mean you don't love your sister, but you have to be clear about your boundaries, not only in word but in deed, or they'll never be respected. You have to decide between damaging your relationship with your sister in the short term and getting rid of Dirtbag. Your sister has her own similar decisions to make. Your parents likewise will do what they have to do, whatever that may be. The goal isn't to make your sister choose you or him, mind; the goal is to assert yourself and to not allow fear of losing her give Dirtbag power over you. She can have both of you if she can manage it, just not at the same time and place. She's an adult whom I hope you trust enough to respect her own choices.
[spoiler]I lived with domestic strife as well through my teens. My family had its own version of your Dirtbag. My eventual solution was to move out, like your sister did. A private living space I have complete control over is one of my most treasured things.[/spoiler]
Re. physical conflict: from what I've read of him, I would agree he does not seem to pose much of a physical threat, and wouldn't go that route. But I dunno, I haven't met him.
Re. Discussion: Not likely.
And in general, I do support the method you presented. Just that in this particular case I'd much prefer to just punch him in the face than try to be the better person.
Sometimes you just gotta punch someone in the face.
@Maxine: I understand that you love your sister, but she also needs to understand what her association with Dirtbag is doing to the family, and that the decisions we make in our lives have consequences. Saying no to Dirtbag doesn't mean you don't love your sister, but you have to be clear about your boundaries, not only in word but in deed, or they'll never be respected. You have to decide between damaging your relationship with your sister in the short term and getting rid of Dirtbag. Your sister has her own similar decisions to make. Your parents likewise will do what they have to do, whatever that may be. The goal isn't to make your sister choose you or him, mind; the goal is to assert yourself and to not allow fear of losing her give Dirtbag power over you. She can have both of you if she can manage it, just not at the same time and place. She's an adult whom I hope you trust enough to respect her own choices.
[spoiler]I lived with domestic strife as well through my teens. My family had its own version of your Dirtbag. My eventual solution was to move out, like your sister did. A private living space I have complete control over is one of my most treasured things.[/spoiler]
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