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Well then I guess I'll wait and in the end when I do say something I hope he won't freak out too much lol But I can see him standing there and just saying "Okay... and?" You know I'm not expecting anything big but I just wanna get this off my chest and I just want him to know how I feel. But I've gotta stop getting so worked up over guys like this... I feel like if I keep falling for em and telling them how I feel I'm gonna be left with a small group of guy friends... not a very big deal but I gotta learn how to control my emotions more and not be so straightforward or so "I feel like I'm lying to you by not telling you this so I REALLY gotta tell you cause I trust you and I want you to know that I don't ever want to hide things from you" Yeah that little phrase there has come out of my mouth so many times. *sigh* I'm such a strange person XP

Aren't we all? But hey you've got more courage than I do. Lots more.

What do you mean by that? Is there something you can't tell someone or something of the sort?

Ah, just similar situations, kind of, people I liked/had crushes on/etc. but never told. It's become almost a habit, sadly. If you actually managed to tell 'em, then that means you're braver than I am.

It's a lot easier to confess after you do it the very first time. In my case I shot myself down the first time, took the second and now I'm feeling terrible because now my best friend's kind of hating me right now it's what upset me enough to render me unable to post in the RP by the way).

I have to kind of sort out my emotions, because I'm starting to think I have a thing for another girl I'm friends with. I'd probably shoot myself down, when I tell her too. why? Well, she's a junior. I'll be in college and I don't want to kind of hurt her by saying, Yeah, I'll go out with you" and end up breaking up, because I can't do an LDR at college. That and I'm better off as a hermit. XD

I'm easily embarrassed, and I tend to stutter a lot when I panic in a conversation. Though luckily I don't get into those too much, not very sociable. Oddly, it seems like everyone knows my name at times, my lazy rep must go far. Or maybe it's the orange jackets that I usually wear.

Most important lesson is life, as far as friendships/romances/etc. go: Don't expect others to initiate. Unless you're the most passive-aggressive person known to man, and wear a sign that outright states "I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER", then, no, they probably don't get it. Or maybe they do and are having the same thought process of "WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER SO YOU SHOULD MAKE THE MOVE."

No. That's wrong. Don't do it. I understand the confidence to take the initiative but, at the end of the day, that's what you should be doing. If you expect others to act on it for you, you're putting your life in their hands; why do that? Sitting idly by merely builds resentment.

Besides, it's never a known thing. Every confession in the world has some hint of the unknown. There's the signs to look for to help make it seem like a good idea but it'll never be a 100% thing. Even so, just waiting for others to hand you things is just silly.

Also, don't put people on a pedestal. There's no point. It builds extra pressure on yourself, psychs yourself out, and is generally a waste of time. It weakens you as a person if you take it too far (i.e., get walked all over) and basically does nothing to help you. I suppose this is the more important first step but stream of conscious typing go~

[spoiler]And this goes for both friends and relationships. No need to go out of your way for friends. Not to say to treat them like shit but just don't think of them as anything supreme and that you're not worthy to being their friend (and thus make up for it by doing things for them). Get some self-confidence, self-esteeem.

Don't expect people to know what's on your mind because you've dropped "oh so obvious" hints. Maybe they do get. Maybe they don't. Maybe they don't fucking care anymore because of your passive-aggressive bullshit. What's the point of making them come out and take the first step? That it somehow makes them better at it because they did it? Bad mentality. Just don't do it.[/spoiler]

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Edit: In other news, house I was looking at for moving into got rented out from under me and my roomate. On the day we were going to go sign for it. If only the realtor checked his texts/voice mail the day before and actually responded.

Terrible start to today. Wonder what else will probably fuck up.

Wow so a lot of you guys got things you'd like to improve when it comes to self esteem and talking to people; it honestly surprises me because I thought all of you guys were great on self esteem and stuff. Nonetheless you all have given me more to think about, especially you Scy. I really do gotta take the initiative and give this whole thing a shot, just maybe things might playthrough like I want them to. The last time I told someone I liked them they said they felt the same way and we've been great friends since lol