Golden Deer Pub Community Forums

God noodles has gone "borg" on us guess resitance is futile.

in retaliation...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DwT_2QQU64[/youtube]

Speaking of weekends, mine is pretty sucky with a cold that has me aching and tired and snotty and feverish. *snirrf* *cough couch* Ow, my throat. *shiver*

Hung Over

Completely my own fault, we were playing drinking games and then after Carn passed out me and my friend continued to drink and just talk about random crap for about 5 hours until 5am.

Good night though .

@Kimiko - try boiling some water and adding a few slices of lemon. Let it sit for a while and stir it a bit and the boiling lemon drink will make you feel better

If she cut off communication with you, Drathi, without explaining why, then it's her bad too - and no wonder you feel desperate to get back into contact. No rules were set (apparently). She certainly doesn't know how you should change. I don't blame her for wanting to distance herself from a relationship, but if she's doing it to teach you a lesson, she's being just as controlling as she says you are. It seems like you two are in more similar straits than first apparent, and don't know what to do.

If you don't mind taking this bit of advice, Kimiko and OptiBoss have good points. Give yourself some distance from this, too. It will probably be hard for a while, but maybe you can get your mind on other things. See if she'll come to you after she doesn't feel like you're asking for her attention.

Changing is never, ever easy (and this is likely why so many people believe internal change is impossible). I understand why you feel so helpless about it, and I'm sorry that you're going through it; it's very painful. It means adjusting how you react to everyday events and cope with your feelings, which also means a period of becoming aware of how you are already doing so.

The change itself you're tying to make (to be less jealous, feel less threatened and desperate, etc.) can also help you learn how to achieve it. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. See if you can understand the problem, and then the change may start to happen seemingly by itself. Face how you may feel desperate to be a "better person" so that you can have your friendship back. Focus on what your behavior is right now, and what you'd like to change about it. Practice the change you want to happen, in situations that aren't high pressure.

Start with this. If she's trying to put up a boundary, and you're trying to find a way around it, it becomes a fight for control. Relax about it; don't grapple with it. Picture what you wish could be different in this situation, then pick out the emotions that have changed in that picture. Focus on those emotions directly, instead of the circumstances causing them. It's possible to find another way of addressing them.

Perhaps keep isn't the best word choice.

I have been distracting myself, but the usual outlets for me have been difficult.For all intents and purposes, I pretty much need to d something that encompasses all of my thought. What do I mean?

I mean doing something that actually distracts me from everything for long periods of time. Mowing the lawn, as much as I hate it, has been theraputic in the fact I can distract myself with the noise and how I hate doing it so much. then if you throw in I am a perfectionist while cutting...

I hate using video games as an escape. I've been playing Monster Hunter hours on end for example, just because that game is difficult enough for me to focus all my thoughts on it.

I have asked the one friend I know who shares her as a friend one question. I promised him to not bug him about my situation again, but I got no answers. Really, the one thing that bothers me is I want to know for sure about so many things. I want to know if there is even a glimmer of hope for a chance that this will end with an outcome that doesn't burn bridges. I try to give myself my own hope, but I'm terrible with pep talk and am most likely an emotional masochist. From how she's been wording everything, it sounds temporary... I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt once again, despite everything about me telling me that she's implied favorable things to me and tht turned out to not be the case many, many times.

Maybe you need to have a good, long talking-it-out with someone to get your feelings out of yourself, even if only for a while. Then you may be able to relax and put your mind on something else.

It sucks when someone cuts you off and won't talk to you. Try to think optimistically, and concentrate on your own state right now.

Thing is that every time I do, I feel bad. Talking to friends about it has gotten me into this mess. How can it get me out? xP