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Just remember that their weakness changes to lighting on Ultimate.

DISCLAIMER: Drathi's stupidity leads to angsty shitty rants. XD Don't say I didn't warn you.

[spoiler]So, I think I mentioned awhile back that I havebeen going under a different name on my friend's Ls just so I can watch without her getting on my case. While I am there to watch her, we don't have to talk. It's a social event; we don't have to meet everyone. I feel sick having to hide myself from her and today, she almost found me out, by saying my mannerisms were close to someone she doesn't want to be on speaking terms with.

So, I left with probably an even longer waiting time for this to blow over. The thing is that I don't understand how people can stay angry at a person for long times. I may end up breaking my vow of silence sometime in November, because of how ridiculous it is for someone to be mad at a person for 6 months. I most definately will break it at 1 year... I don't have much hope for this all.

I'm putting this all here because if I mention this to my friend, he'll shut down on me--I could do choice B (amicably go our separate ways), but that's just as bad. I want to ask him if I'll ever know if things have blown over--between us-- at least. I don't want him following my friend. The drama between us is because I got him involved in the drama with us, not because of the reason the girl is mad at me for. I want him to make the choice himself and you should get the idea.

Maybe I am making myself sound too much like the victim here, but on both sides we're the victim. They're the victim of my consistant whining and my futile attempts to solidify our friendships and I'm a victim of both myself and of how ridiculously rigged this all is against me.

How do I get out of this mess? Wait.

For how long? I don't know.

Is there a way for them to know you're making an effort to be a better person? Yes, but that friend has explicitly stated he's not going to mention me to her at all.

Can you be sneaky? Of course I can be sneaky. Today I had many opportunities and I had to convince myself not to take them--at least for now. As I said, if this goes on for too long, I might have to say something to her officially. If I was sneaky, I jepordize everything, and she may tell my friend, prompting choice B.

Can I give up and just say "screw this" to them? Oh, I totally would if I wasn't so close to them--especially the girl.


I also am finding myself not trusting this other friend as well. He has not exactly been a good friend in the aspect that it feels like he's been trying to get me away from our friend for a long time-- he's been saying things like "the outlook looks bleak" and stuff. Well, it does, but even if I've been emotionally drained I'm not cruel enough to not give any hope.

This is just the end of the first week of my deal with this friend. I just have to adjust, probably. I just don't know how. People say friends drift apart after high school, and for me the girl is he friend I made before high school. This guy and I became friends this year... I only started to make friends in school this year; my timing is terrible.

Ehh... now, I'm beginning to ramble. [/spoiler]

...T;Dr, I feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing right now. Though, maybe the analogy that might work for me is the wolf trying to become the sheep.

Not once have I ever thought of you as the victim through this entire ordeal. I think you're even less of the victim after that last post. You may want to take that into consideration. You're coming off rather self-centered. You broke your toys and now you're angry they're broken.

You're focusing too much on what to do to fix this as a primary goal. You fucked up. Become a better person and not for their sake. It's not a case of "why get better if they can't see me get better???" but that "I need to get better or else this will happen again."

You have tunnel vision here and you can't see what's going on around you. Stop and take a step back. Learn from what happened and take it to heart.

Do realize that if this all blew over right then and there and they welcomed you back, there's a (good) chance this would've happened again and it would've ended immediately right then and there. You've been given a chance to not have it end that way. Take it. If you're serious in wanting to fix this, you should stop viewing it right now as "them against you" like you are. Ball is in your court and you have one shot. You better make it count.

Re-read what you wrote. You realize every last word of it was basically "how I can not do what they want?" Is that really the attitude you want to have in trying to repair this friendship? How can I circumvent their wishes? Is that really being sincere on wanting to fix things? No. It's not.

And as for hating people for 6 months, a year, or more? It's possible. It's very possible. There's people I can't stand and I just don't think about them. And then I see them again down the road and realize why I hate them. And so-on and so-forth. They're brash. Immature. Assholes. Idiots. Racist. Sexist. -ist. Like to hump trees. Whatever. They come back into my life briefly and I remember why I hated them and see them being exactly what it was.

I've run into people that I hated and seen that they're not all that I thought. They're now some of my best friends that I've lived with for years (though now we're almost all separating and going our own ways). It very much goes both ways. This is basically what you're going for.

I need to write an essay for a class that I'm most likely going to fail anyway. Part of me says "screw it, don't do it." but another part of me says "do a good job on it! Maybe you'll still pass."

Not doing it feels really wrong though, you know? I'll probably end up getting a B on it or something.