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There's always a more extreme hikikomori :V

...nothing has been going right for me this week. *sulks*

^ *patpat*

*prods his laptop*

I had to reformat the damn thing--I backed up all my files, thank God-- and I have to reinstall everything. I had to rewrite a paper due the day after my computer started being weird (I got an error every time I started up. A blue screen flashed so fast that most of the time, I never noticed it). I usually type papers on my laptop and then move them to my flashdrive to print them somewhere else.

So, there's that...

And then I throw in the whole thing with me feeling like an utter failure at some things and just freaking the hell out when I forget class is cancelled. I also have class registration coming up, and because I'm a sophmore next year, I'm screwed (they go last).

Lastly, I'm feeling guilty about something with this friend of mine. She hasn't started me commission because she (I'm interpreting it this way) has to trouble herself redesigning the characters of hers that are in it. I ordered this two months ago in half-celebration that she and I were friends again. I never intended it to be a pain for her. So, I canceled my commission. She hasn't been talking to me either, and I have a feeling I did something again. She tells me to practice what I preach, yet when I try to, she gets mad at me and I end up getting more trouble than the comment was worth.

I've learned from my screw ups, but the problem is that the only solution... as it'd been for those 9 months... is still doing nothing. I can't say it enough: It's the hardest thing for me to do.

I forgot there's a thesis reading tonight I said I would attend

FML

Yeah, I'mma be thrown out eventually. We're in full on, fuck everything violation of guidelines.

Also, drunks are now yelling at themselves instead of eachother. Like, "what are you looking at" mirror-image behaviour.

Edit: Are ...

Are they planning gang-warfare? They're too inebriated to sound different when they're joking.

^ Who was it?

me

Ye gods, the drama never ends.

I don't feel so good tonight (it's night time where I reside). *sigh* I'm blaming myself for not being there for a friend. Her mother died about 3 years ago and I'm still holding things inside. I still feel like it's my fault that my friend went astray in life. I still feel like my ignorance and abandonment lead her down the path she went. I feel like her mother left it upon us to take care of her daughter. But I failed her. I'm not much of a believer in Heaven or stuff like that but on some nights I feel like she watches me from Heaven and still waits for me to talk to her daughter more. I feel so disgustingly guilty. I may not be the smartest person alive, but I really feel like I've done wrong. I feel like I could have prevented so much and helped so much. Would it be bad if I brought this subject up with my friend whose mom died? Or should I keep my mouth shut?

This is all eating me inside at the moment

Yes, definitely talk about it with your friend.

^ Is there a reason to not do that?