Golden Deer Pub Community Forums

@Drathi: May I ask what you're studying? Also, are you actually interested in your major? If you're supposed to be a junior soon, I imagine you are currently being pressured to pick a major if you haven't already. If you are studying something you aren't interested in, or think you HAVE to study, you are probably way more likely to let other things distract you.

Also, yes, your parents are ridiculously overbearing, but they are paying for your classes. You may underestimate that, but I had to drop out of school for 3 years before I could afford to go back to school. It sucked, it sucked a lot. Even though I wasn't a particularly good student back then, it was still really shitty and depressing to see all my friends from high school graduate university, and in some cases start graduate school, when I couldn't even go because I couldn't pay for it. Envy is definitely it. It It would have been 5 years if my father had still been alive because I wouldn't have received any financial aid. That may seem appealing to you now, not having to go to school, or worry about it, but working the kind of shitty jobs I had in the interim was not particularly nice. Your parents are definitely way too controlling, that much is certain, but at least they are willing/able to pay for your classes. I know that sounds like typical silver lining bullshit, but university is crazy fucking expensive in the U.S and almost impossible to pay for without help. Just be thankful that they are at least doing one good thing, even if they are spiteful and controlling about it.

I'm having trouble comphrehending why they would force you to take specific classes.

I'm a History major with a minor in Anthropology. I've had the major since I started and I took the minor up this past semester. They do agree that Universities are expensive and the reasons they are expensive piss them off. However, they are expecting me to stop doing things I like entirely. Yes, there will be days I make a sacrifice to get work done, but I'm not going to punish myself by giving myself no leisure with friends. They claim that they are angry, because if they hypothetically died, right now, I would not be capable of taking care of anyone. Well, no shit. I'm only 20. Neither were they, at my age.

They blame everything on me going out with my friends ONCE A WEEK. I own that I was distracted by my computer and I am doing something about it. I will not give up something that's once a week, though. I know I can handle having it once a week, it was the other stuff I did that was different than last year.

What makes this rougher is that I found this out a day after my grandmother passed away. She's the one who gave me the money to even go to college, in the first place. $25000. I told her I was doing well--I really thought I was--and I get these grades and I feel like absolute shit. I at least have more motivation to do well, but...

They aren't forcing me to take classes. I'm just not allowed to drop, it feels like. I don't know, if they understand that a withdrawl is much better than a fail. The only forcing involved was that I was a sophomore and my options were incredibly limited thanks to our registration being last.

Then to compound this, my brother ruined our holidays again, by abusing drugs again. This time it was weed, adderol, or something. Same day our grandmother was on her deathbed. Really, this is why I'm cutting off contact with him, once I'm on my own. I only tolerate him and communicate with him as necessity demands.

If it helps, try explaining your decisions in terms of strategic benefits. Which you can come up with without having to BS them. Having fun with friends (in moderation) DOES have benefits, not the least of which is that you don't run yourself ragged focusing on your work until it loses all purpose and you start to question whether your life has any meaning and you start viewing yourself as a mere automaton of flesh. Did that get dark? Good, because that's how it feels. Also, it builds social skills, which are kiiiinda useful to getting a job. And networking. Even if I hadn't been lucky enough to get a job right out of college, I had plenty of friends who could have helped me get a job eventually. (One in particular was pretty sure a job was gonna open up within a few months of graduation.)

As for dropping a class, it's a simple case of "failing a class doesn't really look good and ends up being a big resource drain". Don't throw good money after bad. (Time is money, right?) The time you spent studying for that class sounds like it would have been better spent studying for your other classes, improving your grades there.



edit: Off topic, but man, the waterfall model really sucks.

^ Connections are more important than grades in the real world.

What a degree actually gets you has changed since your parents went to school. Back then, getting a degree practically guarenteed you a good job. Now a days it's pretty much a requirement. JUST a degree is simply not marketable anymore.

Also I'd... look at how happy your parents are with their lives right now. I would under no circumstances point this out to them, though.

I'm a fairweather-friend, boo.

^ Wait, is that why your clothes are old-timey?