Golden Deer Pub Community Forums

I think that people are by and large introverts, but that most people misinterpret what this means. Being an introvert does not mean being a shut in, it just means that you need significant alone time to balance out the social interaction you do have. When I worked at the bank and had to be social with customers/coworkers for 8-10 hours a day I would basically just shut myself into my room, lock all three locks, and kick it alone with my good friend Austin Nichols for the rest of the evening. Other people would want to go straight out after work and hang out, I would just want to be alone. Not out of any hatred of people or socializing, just a need to spend some time alone after heavy interaction. Its perfectly normal, and nothing to be ashamed of.

Trifkin, as the good doktor described, you are explaining a very typical introverted persona. The problem is that this persona has often been maligned as lazy, apathetic, or useless. This is simply not true. You are an introvert and its absolutely beautiful and wonderful. Just as much as it would be if you were an extrovert. People have spent their entire lives being told they NEED to be extroverts, despite their natural inclination, so even those other introverts around you probably don't understand your needs. The truth is that you should never feel bad about it.

Trifkin, what are you talking about, you are a super good friend. You'd also be a good super friend if you'd listen to my advice about the radioactive turnips, but that is besides the point. The point is that good friends will understand that sometimes you need some time to recharge , even if they don't understand why. Coincidentally, I'm convinced the why has something to do that with the extra effort you expend being a good friend while around other people.

So yeah, you're awesome. Just saying.

^ Doing things should typically expend energy.

Trifkin: I know that feel and you have the right to complain and stand for what you want. Being a good friend is also indulging time for yourself and set clear boundaries about when you want to spend time with them or not (no I'm not asking you to be distant XD). You're the kind of friend I'd want to have (and you guys too!).

Maxine: You too went to a psychiatrist? I was also super shy at that time so my parents decided to take me to a psychiatrist but it didn't help me that much (and I was so mad at them). I'm also not into parties and social drama but I somehow get involved...

My mum always told me to be extrovert and make a bunch of friends but I'm good with a few buddies, they are reliable and busy as I am (at the same time) so no hard feelings when it comes to hang out together.
But I do feel upset when one of my friends gets too clingy, especially when it's a classmate, and sends me like 10 texts within one hour because she's stressed out about oral exams or other random stuff (like toxic people at college).

I became introvert and distant because of my will to not be too clingy or a burden to people I care about, and to prevent obnoxious and pushy people to interact with me. Same people who think introvert=pushover=shut in=nolife (I was called like that twice, because I don't go out that much, except if I really need to).

Interactions at work/school/with neighbors/relatives are enough on a daily basis but if they get too toxic I tend to spend more time alone to clear my mind.

Let's be introverts together and don't give a fuck to pushy people \o/

Ebert died. You've always liked films. You'd have something to say about it. Hope you're OK out there, damned fool. Let me know if you're alive some day, yeah?

Failure to understand introverts and failure to understand extroverts are equally annoying. People are different goddammit! Everything isn't about what you feel!

So easy to rant on this topic.

I have mixed views on introversion and extroversion. Well, maybe that's not entirely accurate. Neither is particularly right or wrong, good or bad, in moderation. The problem is the far extremes of either. Whether people go out after work or go home and shut themselves in their homes means very little to me. All I care about is how people are in a professional environment.

I've known many introverts that were fine under those circumstances. Easy to talk to, communicative, fantastic to work with. They kept to themselves outside of work and that's fine. The problem is the introverts that try to remain introverted within the office. They...tend to drag the team down, unfortunately. You don't often get that with extroverts, though you wind up with some that just function as distractions instead which is equally problematic in an environment like mine.

Personally, I am a dyed-in-the-wool introvert. I'm happy to be communicative and social within the office -- it's part of my job -- but it's not often that I'm seen outside of it. Like Starfe said, we need time to recharge. Extroverts charge in crowds. We charge alone or in very small, very tightly knit groups.

And there's nothing wrong with that. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Edit: I suspect I should add a minor addendum. I believe that people need connections. How many connections, and how deep, is very case-by-case. In my particular case, I have a couple of friends that I am incredibly close to and that is enough for me. I would dispose of bodies for them; that is how much I love them. Conversely, I know people with many connections, none of which run particularly deep. Now, they don't actually seem that happy...so maybe that's a bad example.

Re. intro/extro: what Doktor and Starfe said.


And omg. Do I see fucking snow falling outside the office window right now? Goddammit Minnesota. It like just mostly melted yesterday (except for all the mounds the plows made). Why you gotta dump on us again? It's APRILLLLLLLL.

I think my only major QQ right now, aside from the impending crush of the day job's hours going up, is that I'm waiting for an Oculus Rift unit to ship and I want it right now dammit! Aargh!

Were you a backer?

@Cotton: Yeah, I was young. I didn't even realize really WHAT it meant to go see a psychiatrist. And my mom presented it to me as "just someone who wants to talk to you and see how friendly you are and make sure I'm doing a good job raising you."

*shrugs* I thought it was exciting. It was unnerving when I went into the room, though. The poor woman. I'm just sitting there on the couch and she's trying to get me to open up and I kept answering her questions simply. I didn't understand what was going on - it's only now I realize what she was trying to accomplish.

Then she got out some games and tried to get me to play them - this just confused me more because one of them was a dress-up dolls kinda game which reminded me too much of barbies. The last time we played I ended it asking "can... can we stop playing now? This is really boring and I don't like it."

"What do you want to do?"

"I dunno. Um... I have homework? You wanna help me do my homework?" XD She didn't like that idea, I think, and quickly changed the topic.

Me bringing Wizard of Oz to her office was probably the best day of her life for our sessions. I had just picked it up at the library and I was so excited. "IT'S SO DIFFERENT FROM THE MOVIE!" I went on and on until I ended up just reading her the first chapter of the book (I'm so sorry Miss Therapist!). Then she branched out into talking about other books I liked. I can't remember if it was after that session or another one that she finally told my mom there was no point to continuing the sessions. There weren't many. I think I met the poor woman a total of like MAYBE five times - not that I was counting, really.

Even now I look back on it and don't really blame my mom for what she did. o_O There were a few incidents that I think my behavior unnerved them. For instance, I was practicing moving pictures (You know, drawing things and then flipping through it quickly to make it move) and I drew some neighborhood kids (stick figures) playing baseball (they did it so often so it was obvious who I was drawing despite the stick figure part). ... I got bored drawing them just running around the bases... I drew a bomb on homeplate and it blew up. It's not that I meant any ill-will towards the kids. I just thought that drawing a bomb blast would be more epic than kids running around bases.

My mom found it, didn't even understand the moving picture part, was understandably unnerved by the bomb-end - and still to this DAY they bring it up occasionally ^_^;; It was... silly kid things like that... No, I don't blame my mom for taking me. I probably would have, too.

^ Oh, no, not a bomb. Ah. Scary. ¬ ¬



My father lit himself on fire semi-regularly.

Which part of himself/why?