Golden Deer Pub Community Forums

Hey Rey, if you want to stop discussing this we will all step off and move on. Just giving you the option in case you don't feel like you have it.

I've never really had problems with anxiety, but its getting pretty bad. I can't tell if the incredible amount of anxiety I feel is a direct result of my job, or if my job is exacerbating a problem I have previously been able to manage. In any case I am incredibly anxious. Everytime I look at my calendar I damn near have a panic attack. I really just wish I could have a solid month where all I have to do is teach my class. Hell even a week would be nice.

Oh man, I hope you can get it under control. If it helps you can text me to vent if you're freaking out.

Is that why you dissapeared for months? Your computer died and you wanted to grow the longest set of nails ever so you stayed offline?

I bite/pick at my lips, which is a similar shitty habit. It happens when I am either hungry and doing anything or if I am watching tv and not doing anything with my hands. I'm getting a lot better with it this year.

I feel as though I have the teacher version of combat fatigue. I haven't had an emotional or intellectual break since last spring, and its starting to show.

I dream about school now, and its awful.

@Sampson:
Oh, yes, being a nail biter I do have my set of 'activities'.

Fortunately I'm not the 'mindless biter' sort. The sort that chews and chews and goes shorter and shorter during different biting periods.

My problem is simply that my nails get in my way. My pinky nails are proof of this. I let them get long with no problem. I have no urge to chew them off. They don't usually get attacked until they get torn off because they get caught on something or whatever.

I chew my nails when I'm on my computer or when I'm playing a portable game system. My thumbs are the first nails to go. I have literally torn a nail off and blamed it for being the reason I lost in a boss battle. The same when I'm typing. If my nail keeps getting in the way - I attack it. Unfortunately one session is all it takes. I will keep on chewing and chewing until it's down in the quick. I also have to be careful: if the nail snags, even if it's down in the quick, I will again attack the nail to try to find the snag and this has ended with some nastier results.

Once the nail is gone, though, I don't bite it until it has grown back and once again gotten in my way.

This is why nail clippers and emery boards are so vital for me to keep around and have worked wonders. Once I start to see my nails getting long, I sit down and clip them short again and then take my emery board to prevent any possible snags. As long as I stay on top of the situation, I'm good. And it's been working. My nails are starting to look healthy again and the cuticles have started to grow back.

Saturday was a seriously one off situation. My nail was long and it was one of the few situations that boredom played a part in my nail biting. This is rare, but it happens. If I don't have my hands busy I will chew my nails then, too. I'm bored, I look down, realize a nail is long and think "oh gosh, it's going to get in the way soon..." Normally this is the PERFECT moment to grab my nail clippers and take care of the problem for the week. But I didn't have them. ... I just gave in and just ripped it off without even thinking and once I got started I didn't stop as I was watching the movie.

Now I'm staring at the nail and thinking how disgusting it looks compared to my other nails. It's a testament to how well I've been doing, really. This nail looks so disgusting and I think that the others use to look like that too. *Sigh* at least it stopped hurting yesterday. Believe me, it has served as a reminder and I hope the next time I'm bored without my clippers I'll remember this pain and this frustration.

starfe that's not healthy at all man. reminds me of when i worked at disneyland and had a nightmare every single night about being late, waking up in a panic

In the 8th grade I got stabbed by an 8th grader. I said it was an accident. It was not an accident.

He shoved a pencil in my arm deep enough for it to stay embedded, but that's still probably different than your crazy school.

I'm SO FUCKING PISSED right now it's not even funny.

So our work has a pretty rigid attendance policy of occurrences. Call out is 1 occurrence. Leaving early within so many hours is half an occurrence, etc.

Occurrences fall off ninety days after they were acquired. Six occurrences, however, places you on a final warning and relocks everything from the sixth to a full 90 days before they ALL fall off. Once you are on this plan if you receive a seventh - you are terminated. The end.

I'm DAMN good with my attendance and I keep track. However, it is winter, so I've acquired some because of being sick.

I KEEP TRACK. I called out Tuesday but I knew that one had just fallen off so Tuesday would put me at 5 and one is going to fall off on Monday to put me back down to 4.

Except today when our Supervisor was doing the one fucking job she has to actually do (she's such a fucking flake, I hate her), I got this interesting email:
You are at seven occurrences, we will talk later to put you on a final written warning.

I got this in the middle of a call. Lovely information to receive when you are dealing with a customer that your job just might be ended.

WHAT THE FUCK? OH MY GOD? WHAT THE HELL? <-- those sorta things went through my head.

Of course this is one of those piss-ant supervisors that is a flake and a bitch. Annoy her and she gets pissy so I go out of my way to avoid her. So I knew I had to take a deep breath and calm down before I dealt with this situation, but I went to her and was pretty much "umm... excuse me seven occurrences? care to explain"

She pulls me back into a separate room and she's like "I don't have the paperwork yet but here's the information" (which I'm like GOOD BITCH BECAUSE I'M NOT SIGNING ANYTHING UNTIL I GET THIS FIGURED OUT)

She provides me a chart that looks like this:
11/8/2013
11/26/2013
12/17/2013
1/16/2014
1/18/2014
1/31/2014
2/18/2014

So according to her when I called off on the 31st that was my sixth and locked me in and thus nothing fell off and now I have seven.

@_@ w-what??

Now she had nothing to hand to me so I went back to my desk and I am remembering these dates off the top of my head. Do you notice the oddity in there? I'll give you a cookie if you do because I'm glad I did and that I remembered the dates like that.

I sat back and thought 16th I remember. Horrible stomach bug and it was a Thursday. Then I was like... wait... 18th?? Did I see 18? ...

I go back to her and ask her for those dates through email again. I go back and get them and then see again the 18th.

Last chance - why is the 18th so odd? I gave you a hint - 16th was a Thursday.

Figure it out?

I went up back up to her and was like "I'm sorry to bug you (because she is getting annoyed and pissy with me but FUCK IT THIS IS MY JOB!), but the 18th was a Saturday - how could I have called out on that day (we don't work weekends)?"

She checked her calendar was like 'hrrrrm...' and put in a call to get an accurate listing of my attendance from the office. She was like 'it's probably just a wrong day and I mistyped.'

.... I go back to my seat a little miffed about this and am pounding my head trying to remember my call off days while I'm taking calls. (needless to say my head was not in my work)

Then I get this email: (which I forwarded to myself for my records, which I give to you quoted - enjoy the typo, too.)
"This is good – it changes everything. Right now, you NEW points are 5. Written Warning Status, which we already delivered."

11/8/2013
11/26/2013
12/17/2013
1/16/2014
1/31/2014
2/18/2014

So - MY records were correct.

Now... here's why I'm pissed off:

YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU COULDN'T EVEN FUCKING CHECK THE GODDAMN DATES AND CHECK YOUR OWN FUCKING TYPOS BEFORE YOU NEARLY GET SOMEONE FUCKING FIRED?!!

It's not just a "oh written warning" situation or even being verbally reprimanded. This is MY JOB! If I had not paid attention and actually signed that fucking sheet of paper she was planning on printing up for me that would be it. No job.

YOU'RE MY FUCKING SUPERVISOR! This is your JOB! HOW THE FUCK DID AN ADDITIONAL DAY GET IN MY CHARTS LIKE THAT?! Not just a 'typo' but a whole fucking day - a SATURDAY no less!

I was keeping so-so track before. You better believe going forward I will be FAR FAR more attentive. Damn bitch.

JUST WORKING ON ANOTHER 40 PAGE TEACHING CREDENTIAL ASSIGNMENT, DON'T MIND ME LOSING MY MIND REAL QUICK.

I am working two jobs again, school starts up tomorrow, and I am getting burnt out like I was at the start of the year. This new job is my first 9-5 job, and even if it's only twice a week working that long is really exhausting. I was DMing for my friends again tonight and was really off my game. Bleh.

At least I'm not writing 15,000 words a day and teaching a bunch of stabby little delinquents. ^^